Don't Forget Me
by ThyNameNotSpoken
Summary: "Th-There's something down stairs." She whispered and clutched my shirt tighter. I looked her over to make sure she wasn't injured and saw her blood covered bunny slippers.
1. Chapter 1

My feet hit the ground hard and took off running. The store owner was yelling my name and making a big ol' fuss. I just laughed. I zipped around a corner and hid behind a dumpster as I waited for the cop and store owner to pass. Chuckling lowly I cautiously left the alley, all the way home keeping' an eye out for my two pursuers. They haven't caught me yet, but I wasn't about to chance it. I let the gravel under my feet distract me. It worked, sort of. Usually how it went. Never can really forget that I'm a poor kid, living at the end of a dirt crap gravel road, and often at the receiving end of fists. But, hey, it's nice to try.

Its not like I enjoy stealing, but Judy really wanted PB&J, unfortunately, we were out up bread and mom's a little on the greedy side. Bread is not her top priority. Hence, my situation. It's not like she didn't care for us and she always made sure we had what we _needed_ , and that's as far as her generosity ever went. At least I could see Judy happy, or so I thought.

I knew I was screwed when I got home and they were waiting for me.

"Ethan Grey!" I really did think about running, but figured it was futile and Mom would still kill me either way. "Come here!" by the way her brow was knitted and her face was red I knew I was in deep shit. I visibly winced as I approached the sad, little front porch with the loaf of bread in hand.

I didn't even let them speak. I just threw the stupid guy his loaf of bread and ran up to my room. Passing my little sister on the way up, but I couldn't stop and face her. But a quick glance told me she was worried.

"Ethan, open up." My Mom's voice wasn't angry anymore, but I didn't feel like talkin'. The heavy air in my room wasn't helping my mood as I slid down against my door and buried my face in my arms. Damn everything. "Ethan, please." She pleaded, I could hear the desperation in her voice, but ignored it.

"Go away." I said it loud enough that she could hear me. I heard her walk away and then some murmuring a few seconds after.

I sighed, brushing my dirt blond colored bangs out of my face and banged the back of my head against the door. The sun was going down and its golden light reached through my window. I tried to ignore the grumbling of my stomach, but it was growing hard too and it didn't help that I could smell dinner cooking. No doubt my mother trying to lure me out. Wasn't going to work though. I was stronger than that.

I crossed my arms and smirked accepting my own challenge. Flopping on my bed of wrangled sheets and blankets I started playing on my phone. There was a small knock and the door creaked open sometime later. I glanced to the corner of my screen and seen in was eight fifteen and incredibly dark in my room. I hadn't even noticed. I reached over and turned on the lamp beside my bed.

"Judy?" I couldn't meet her wide blue eyes. I had failed her. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" she opened the door a little more and I saw she was dressed in her pj's and her wide eyes had tears streaming from her face. "Judy?" I asked a little more urgently jumping off my bed and took her into my arms. "What's wrong?" I held her face in my hands and wiped her tears with my thumbs.

"Th-There's something down stairs." She whispered and clutched my shirt tighter. I looked her over to make sure she wasn't injured and saw her blood covered bunny slippers.

"St-Stay here." I said sternly, swallowing the knot in my throat, still looking at the blood. She nodded and I ushered her into my closet. With my heart pounding I started my way down stairs with a baseball bat in hand. Thank God I had it setting by my door.

I held it over my shoulder, ready to swing at anything. "Mom. . .?" I whispered, more so mouthed actually. I couldn't get the blood covered slippers out of my head. Squeezing my eyes shut as I came to the stairs and tried to summon the courage to turn and go down them. I wasn't sure if I was an idiot or incredibly brave, either way I should have called 911. Thanks me, for being so reckless. Taking a deep breath I jumped around the corner with my bat in a white knuckle grip. "Fuck." My breath shook, the lamp in the living room was tipped over and blinking like a strobe light, and the stupid stairs creaked horribly as I walked down them.

I was scared. Terrified, actually. I trembled horribly as I started hearing slurping sounds. "M-Mom?" I gasped trying to get a hold on my fear, but, oh God, there was already so much blood. I felt a tear slip down my face and my breath became even more ragged. I bit my lip to keep from whimpering.

 _Come on, you are 15 get yourself together. Mom needs you._ I reached the landing and followed the trail of blood to the kitchen and felt sick at the smell. It was horrible. I moved forward, doing my best to avoid the blood, and could hear the sucking sound growing louder and some sounds of pleasure mixed in.

I peeked around the corner and gasped at the sight, quickly slapping a hand over my mouth. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing. I looked around the corner again shaking worse than I was before.

A man was leaned over my mom, her eyes wide and nearly dead with tears slipping out every once in a while. Her skin was so pale against the crimson, some of it running out of her mouth, and her chestnut hair was mated, clumped together, and stuck to the floor. Her visible arm was laying at a crooked angle with a bone pressing against the skin.

I couldn't help but let out a strangle scream catching the attention of the monster. There was no way that _thing_ was human. I realized I was crying and the tears ran ramped down my chin and splashed loudly in the sudden dead silence. Oh God, why?

The thing turned slowly and hissed, probably angry I'd interrupted him. He was thin and just as pale as my mother on the floor, and blood, her blood, dripping down its chin. Its face was covered and I could see two elongated teeth when it hissed. I shook my head unable to believe what I was seeing.

He stood and was easily six foot so I was several inches shorter and my grip on the bat only tightened to the point it was painful. The guy was wearing a once white shirt, but it was ripped and dirty and not to mention the blood soaking the front and the same went for his pants.

Suddenly, a rush of anger took over my fear as I remember Judy just upstairs. I swung my bat and it connected with his skull and a satisfying _zing_ jarred my arms. I brought the bat back for another swing. The thing stumbled back dazed when he should be dead or at least unconscious because there was a nice sized dent in his cranium.

 _Fuck!_ I started swing haphazardly at his head when he growled at me. I couldn't believe it, even after those extra hits he still tore my bat from my hand and staggered towards me. I stumbled back, scared for my life as I realized I could die, right here, right now, without having done anything with my life. I stumbled over a chair and landed painfully on the legs and that realization was becoming more real by the second.

The thing smirked, his lips pulling back to reveal, what I still couldn't believe were, his fangs. I whimpered and hurriedly stood, nearly tripping again. I reached into the knife draw and, with my luck, grabbed it by the blade end effectively slicing my palm. I hissed in pain and grabbed the knife with my other hand correctly.

I felt like prey as the thing slowly stalked towards me tilting its head as if sizing my up. I held the knife close and in front of me, not wanting to risk him snatching it away like he did with my bat. He hissed before he launched himself. Shoving me to the ground.

I struggled underneath him while also trying to get air back into my lungs. I decided then that I wasn't going to die. The thing was trying to pin my arm while growling and hissing, blood dripping onto my face. I lashed my arms around and swiped at his neck with the knife spilling more blood gushing out and onto my chest.

It hesitated and I swiped again, pushing it over so that I was on top and stabbed my blade into his neck. He stopped moving and I leaned back feeling relieved it was dead. I took several deep breaths and let my head droop. I felt relief.

A hand gripped my right hand and my adrenaline shot back up. The grip was painful and forced me to drop my only source of protection. The thing started to sit up its nearly severed head lulling to the side. I tugged my arm frantically while trying to push him away with the other. I felt tears start falling again and I hoped this was just a bad dream.

It had to be. Vampires aren't real. Monsters aren't real. Mom's not dead. . . I realized I was sobbing and the thing wrapped its other hand around my throat, constricting my breathing. _It's just a dream,_ I tried to convince myself.

"Fuck you." I spat out starting to choke. I looked into his eyes and could _feel_ the bloodlust. This thing was crazy. He let go of my other hand and used it to turn my head and brought his closer. I struggled to reach the knife. It spun on the tile as my finger brushed it. "Come on!" I wasn't sure what I was yelling to. Maybe fate. Maybe the thing to just finish me off. Maybe my short arms.

My fingers brushed the knife again and I felt a spark of hope till it spun just out of reach. I let out a strangled, desperate sob. _I'm sorry, Judy._ I shut my eyes as I felt the sharp teeth press against my skin. I shivered at the hot breath.

"E-Ethan?" everything crashed around me. The thing pulled away to peer at Judy and I struggled to turn my head. She still had on her bloody bunny slippers and my old teddy bear clutched to my chest. Her shoulders shook and she was crying.

"Well aren't you pretty." I was shocked the thing could speak, but my fear took over then. As his grip loosed to go after Judy I rolled away and grabbed the knife off the floor. I stood, my legs shaking, and charged at the killer. Just as he reached for a petrified Judy I stabbed the blade into its neck, blood spilling down my hand and I realized that the wound had healed somewhat.

 _Can I even kill this thing?,_ I thought terrified. I ripped the knife up, but I caught on something hard, the spinal cord, and I ripped it out lashing a spray of blood across Judy and her Frozen pajamas. I hacked at the back of the neck, my legs wrapped tightly around the thing, one hand digging into the dingy shirt while the other hacked at his flesh.

After what seemed like forever the head thumped the ground. At this point Judy decided to unfreeze herself and start screaming her head off. I stumbled the few feet to her and cradled her tear streaked face, smearing blood on her cheeks.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's ok. I'm here. I'll protect you." I drew her to my chest as she sobbed and shook and screamed for mom. I bit my lip so hard it bled and then kept biting, because I was not about to be weak when she needed me to be strong. "I told you to stay in the closet." I tightened my grip on her. "Dammit, Judy, why didn't you listen?" I held her at arm's length and searched her face.

"I—I thou-thought you we-were in tr-tr-tr. . ." I hushed her and pulled her back to my chest and she cried on my shoulder. I cautiously looked over my other shoulder and sighed in relief when the body and head were still where they fell.

I picked Judy up and she wrapped her legs and arms around me. I felt like a zombie as I walked having come off my adrenaline high I realized my mom was dead and I had just killed something that wasn't human—a vampire. . .maybe, I'm not sure still. They're not supposed to be real. I shifted Judy to one arm and opened the bathroom door. I set her on the sink counter and turned on the faucet. I used a cloth and wiped the blood I'd smeared on her face off and cleaned myself after and then wrapped it around my injured hand till I could really bandage it.

I looked at myself in the mirror; into my own green eyes. I already looked exhausted and it wasn't even 9:30 yet, but I figured if we could survive this we could survive anything.

Judy sat completely still her blue eyes wide. I helped her out of her clothes and she got into the bath. I walked down the hall to my room and got some clean clothes. At the time I had only been thinking about getting the blood off, but then I realized that is if I called the police and told them what happened they'd thing I was crazy and even if I didn't tell them the truth, cutting off an intruders head with a kitchen blade was pretty worthy of the asylum.

I started to cry again, because my mother was killed by some monster and this wasn't some horrific dream as much as I wished it was.

Slowly a plan formed. I snatched up my clothes and stuffed them into a duffle bag and did the same with Judy's. She was wrapped in a towel when I reentered the bathroom and I handed her some fresh clothes.

"Stay here, you understand." I said sternly. I didn't want to think that thing had friends that might come looking for him. I shivered at the thought.

She nodded stiffly, "I-I promise." I just nodded and headed down stairs with another bag. I shoved all the food we had in the cabinets into it and the spare money and then took my mom's purse knowing 80 dollars wouldn't be enough.

I tried to ignore the stench, the blood, the lifeless bodies, but I eventually threw up whatever I had in my stomach. That happened about three more times before I finished what I was doing. I just about to leave the kitchen when something on the table caught my eye. It was a metal box and a sheet of paper with moms hand writing saying _To Ethan._ I debated for a moment before stuffing the letter and the box into the bag. It was to me anyways

I took both bags out to the car and put them in the trunk. I went back inside and up to the bathroom and was relieved to see Judy sitting on the counter swing her legs. She was tired. I could tell by the way her eyes drooped.

"Stay here, I'm going to take a shower." She nodded and turned her head as I took off my shirt and covered her eyes for good measure. I tried to chuckle but it came out dry and dead. I dropped my pants and boxer and stepped in and turned the water on sighing happily.

"Are you in yet?" Judy asked. I smirked.

"Yes."

"Ok."

I watched as pink water swirled down the drain. I scrubbed my skin till it was raw and washed my hair three times till I got the sticky feeling out of it.

"Ethan, is mommy in heaven?" I stopped my movements not sure how to respond at first. I never believed in God or angels and heaven was just a nice thought, kinda like a fairytale. You wished you believed in it, but knew it was just a lie to help you sleep. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"Yeah, Judy, Mom's safe."

"With God?"

"With God." A part of me hoped my words were true, but I shoved it aside and turned the water off. "Towel?" I stuck my hand out and I felt the plush material get pushed into my hand and started drying off.

Once dressed I let Judy go to her room and pick out three things to bring with us and I did the same in my room. I took my mp3 and ear buds, a photo of mom, and my Gameboy. Judy had her favorite doll, the stuffed dragon I'd given her for her fifth birthday, and her coloring book and canyons.

"Where are we going?" she asked me as she buckled into her booster seat. I sat in the driver's seat and it was a little nerve racking. Sure I'd had a little practice, but I didn't have my permit or license yet.

"I don't know. Where do you want to go?" I tried to smile at her, but it was weak and probably looked forced. She 'hummed' in thought before her tired eyes brightened.

"New York!" I chuckled at her enthusiasm. Maybe she wasn't too traumatized.

"We'll see, Kiddo." Though we may not be going to New York yet, I did drive in an aimless direction, I just know it was away from Willowcreek and away from mom. I cried a few times, but I was too tired to sob. Eventually I pulled into an empty parking lot and leaned my seat back. I unbuckled Judy and laid her down so that she was more comfortable.

The next morning, I drove us to a diner I found on google maps and while I was doing that I realized that when they found the disaster at our house they'll also realize we're missing and might try to track us with it, so when we got to the diner I broke the phone and threw it in the trashcan.

"Order whatever you want, Kiddo." I still didn't have much of an appetited and I was still exhausted from being unable to sleep last night, but I forced myself to eat a slice of apple pie while Judy stuffed her face with eggs, bacon, and pancakes. I smiled softly at her. She looked so much like mom with here brown hair that fell in little ringlets and those bright blue eyes. I didn't realized I was crying till our waitress laid a hand on my shoulder and looked at me concerned.

"Are you alright, honey?" she had dark brown skin and a thick southern accent. I quickly dried my eyes feeling embarrassed for getting caught crying.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, thanks." She left with a worried look and we never got our ticket. When I asked she simply said it was taken care of. I thanked her again and Judy and I were once again on the road. After 50 miles of fields and barren landscapes I pulled into a gas station and filled that car up and withdrew as much money I could from my mom's card. It had a limit so I was only able to take out 800 dollars. Like I said, mom had money, plenty of it, she just hated spending it.

I shoved the cash into my pocket for now and went to look for my little sister who had found herself in the candy isle. I couldn't really say no when she asked for a bag of gummy bears and I couldn't resist from getting a snickers.

I still wasn't sure where we were going, I just knew it was as far away as possible from that crap town we lived in. Thing was I couldn't stop thinking about what killed mom. A vampire still seemed too hard to believe, but I also couldn't deny what I had seen either. I pulled into a park when Judy started complaining she was hungry. I let her pick from the food I had taken and I sat down with the metal box and letter while she went and played,

The letter was older, not fresh, not ancient either and some of the ink was smudged like it had been wrote in a hurry. I bit my lip as I pried open the seal.

 _Ethan,_

I saw her motionless, dead body, all the blood. I was forced to rip my eyes away from her delicate handwriting. Maybe if I had just gotten there sooner. . .

 _You're getting older and deserve to know the truth about your father._

I sat back on the picnic table bench. I had asked her a couple of time about who my father was, but she always shied away from the subject or "You don't need to worry about him". I'd just assumed he was a good for nothing guy who had left her.

 _His name is_ _Dean Winchester, hence your middle name, we dated for a week before he left town. At the time I was on birth control, but still got pregnant. By the time I found out, Dean was long gone and I had no way of contacting him, so I figured it was better just not to say anything. We weren't serious and it was a complete accident. I know you hate him because you assumed he just left me, but trust me, it wasn't his fault._

 _You look a lot like him actually. You have his green eyes and hair color and his freckles. To be honest I don't know much about Dean. He was just a drifter who liked pie._

 _I know I haven't been the best mother, but I do love you and I like to think Dean would have too if he'd stuck around._

 _Love,_

 _Mom_

I realized a few tears had slipped through. Great, I had a father who didn't even know I existed. I think I liked it better when this Dean guy had left like a jerk like Judy's dad. Mom never was good at relationships.

I pulled the metal box over and opened it. There was no lock so it was easy. Inside were a few pictures of mom with, who I could only assume was, Dean. I didn't really want to admit I looked like him, but. . .I did. Dammit. His hair was short than mine where mine was longer and my bangs hung across my forehead and covered my left brow, but the color was the same.

The box also had my birth certificate and a few other documents. As I was looking through the photos I noticed a nice ass car in the background. I wasn't a car geek, but I knew it was old and hot. In one of the pictures the license plate was clear enough to read.

Kansas KAZ 2Y5

 **A bit brutal of a first chapter, but this story definitely has its dark spots. Anyway, thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

God, this world is ugly.

The more I looked for monsters fucking up humanity, the more I learn about what shouldn't exist. Apparently there are they people called 'hunters' who kill monsters like vampires and werewolf's and whatever else is out there running around, not that I've ever met one so I don't know if it's true.

I know how to kill vampires, so that's what I plan to stick to. I still can't believe this whole other world right under our noses. Just another reason I want it gone. Probably will never happen, but I like to think I can make a change.

Willowcreek and North Carolina seem so far away now. Judy and I have been on the road for roughly six months now. I don't want any other mother to be brutally murdered like ours was and no other kids to end up like us.

I was probably crazy. Barely sixteen. Freshly sharpened machete. Heart pounding in my ears. I brushed my bangs to the side and tried to steady my breath. It was cold and my breath fogged in front of me. I walked slowly, leaves crunching quietly under my feet as I did. Pressing my body against the side of the rundown house I peeked around the corner, my heart still beating loudly in my ears.

I saw three people. Two women and a man. I hated how human they looked. I couldn't hear what they were talking about. One of the women and the man walked off in the opposite directing and the other girl came towards me. I swung my machete hard at her head and it tumbled off, hitting the ground with a nasty 'thump'. The sound alerted the other two vamps walking away and they quickly turned around. I slid back into the shadows and pulled my hood up.

"What the hell?" the guy barked, cradling the body of the bitch I just killed. He hissed and his teeth grew long and sharp, searching the grounds for me. I started walking towards him no longer feeling fear. It got easier each time.

The guy snapped his head around when the leaves started to crunch under my footsteps. I swung the blade and felt it rip through the flesh and bone and then air the metal dripping in blood. I looked into his vacant eyes for a second before I turned to the other girl.

She was shaking and on her knees, fear running down her pale cheeks. She didn't speak, though, and almost looked thankful as I cut her head off. I stood still for several moments not sure how to handle that reaction. I clenched my jaw and stepped back from the bodies. Still can't handle blood very well. I swallowed the bad taste in my mouth and walked away.

I knew there were more, at least five more. I walked quietly towards the front of the house, keeping my eyes out for the freaks, but not well enough apparently because a hand dug into my shoulder and slammed me into the wall. I struggled to get air back into my lung and realized I'd dropped my machete.

"Dammit." I cursed. The vamp smirked showing off his God awful teeth. He was bulky like the first dude I'd killed and just as ugly too.

"I'm gonna kill you." He snarled. I worked up a wad and shot it at his face. The glob dripped down from his brow to his ugly, hooked nose.

"Looks like an improvement to me." I smirked sarcastically. He gripped my throat tighter and I choked slightly. I brought my knee up into his gut. I know I didn't hurt him, so I surprised him more than anything, but he dropped me and I was able to pick up my blade just as he tackled me.

This position was eerily familiar, but I shoved the memories down. I shoved the blade through his neck and felt the blood run down my hand. I tore it through the rest of the flesh and pushed the body off mine. I laid back breathing hard. I sat up and winced feeling a sharp pain in my ribs. _Four down,_ I thought numbly.

Pushing open the front door my eyes fell on an older woman with silvery hair and three more guys not near as big as the first two. They were thin and scrawny like the one that had killed my mother. The four stood fast and several chairs toppled over.

"Greg! Sabastian!" the woman yelled. I smirked.

"It's gonna be hard for them to speak with their head cut off." Her eyes fell to the bloody machete in my hand.

"Hunter." She growled and lowered her head like a feral animal. "Kill 'em!" she yelled at the three other men. They hesitated for a few seconds. I brought up my weapon and egged them on. The one that charged was only slightly bigger than the other two guys and had a dragon tattoo curling up his neck. I focused in on his neck and when he was close enough I swung hard. The sharpened blade sliced through cleanly and swiftly. The guy stopped in his steps and stood still for a few seconds before he fell forward and his head toppled to the side and rolled a few feet.

"If I'm a hunter, then you know exactly what I'm going to do to you." I pointed my freshly bloodied blade at the woman. She growled and flung her arm at me, signaling the other two to attack. I readied for the two front attack.

Around six months ago I couldn't hold my own in a fight. I couldn't fight back against simple bullies, but now I could hold my own pretty well against freakin' vampires. Probably puberty kicking in now that I think about it.

I punched the guy with a blonde Mohawk and dozens of piercings in the throat. While he stumbled backward I was able to turn my attention to the other guy with a major uni-brow. I ducked his right hook and shoved my knee into his groin. He groaned and in his moment of laps I sliced his head off. I turned to the other vamp, a whip of blood following.

He hesitated bring a hand to his throat as if to protect it. I was panting, but besides that the only sound was the blood splattering on the wood floor as it dripped off the machete.

"Kill him already, dammit!" the older woman screamed, but I could hear the fear in her voice. "He's a child!"

"A child who took down Greg and Sabast—" I cut off his head and his sentence. Blood splattered against my face, I wiped it away as I turned to the woman. She was seething with anger. She was faster and stronger than I had anticipated, which was stupid of me.

The old woman shoved me against the wall, knocking off a photo and shattering the glass. Her fangs were bared and she was snapping at my neck. I brought my knee up into her gut a few times, but her bony grip was like steel.

"You killed my family." Her voice, though laced with anger, cracked with hurt.

"Then your kind shouldn't have killed mine." I hissed back not feeling any remorse for her or her family. How many families had they destroyed? I dug my teeth into her arm. She reared back hissing with blood streaming from the wound. I gaged and forced her against the wall holding the bloody blade against her throat. I spat the blood in my mouth out gaging again at the taste. Not dying today either.

I finished the job and her head tumbled to the floor. Unable to control my gut anymore, I threw up. I wiped my mouth and headed out into the cold air. I shivered at the sudden chill.

Judy and the car were parked a mile away and hopefully she was asleep, but doubt it. I couldn't blame her for waiting up for me. I'd do the same if the positions were switched.

Just as I suspected, she was up. She came running towards me probably to give me a hug, but stopped when she seen my bloody clothes. Her nose wrinkled at the sight. I didn't want to know what I looked like.

"Did you get them?" I nodded looking up at the stars.

"Yeah, I got them."

"Good. They can't hurt anyone now." She nodded in approval.

"Come on, you should be asleep." I ushered her towards the car. It was far past midnight and her unenforced bedtime.

"Aww, come on, can we _please_ stay up a while?" I smiled softly at her pleading.

"I guess." I let out an exasperated sigh and smirked at her. She squealed and did a little dance. I shook my head at her as I walked to the trunk to change and find something to eat. I put on a clean t-shirt and a pair of jeans and grabbed an apple. I bit into its red flesh enjoying its sweet juices as I shut the trunk.

I sat on the hood of the car with Judy and I leaned back against the windshield. "Hey, Ethan, have you thought about killing other monsters?" I had a feeling she'd been wanting to ask that for a while and I had thought about it.

"I only know how to kill vampires." Still sounded crazy when I said it. _Vampires._ I just can't take it seriously. Maybe I should call them something else. Bloodsuckers? Fanged douchebags? I'll have to think about it.

"You said there were hunters that did this for a living, could you talk to one of them?" she turned her head to face me, but I continued to look at the stars.

"The less people who know us the better. We already have our faces plastered around the country. If we get caught they might separate us." I hated the thought. Just as I had suspected, when the police had found the massacre in our house it was all over the news. Probably should have just set the house on fire when we left. Why do I get these great ideas way after the fact?

"I don't want that to happen." Her voice shook slightly. "Where are we going now?" I shrugged.

"I don't know. Guess just drift till we get whiff of another nest." She just nodded and stayed silent for several minutes.

"Ethan, do you think angels are real?" I didn't answer for several seconds.

"Do you?" I frowned at the stars.

"I like to think Mom's one." She sighed with a tone of sadness.

"I do too, Kiddo." I reached over and ruffled her hair. She giggled and slapped my hand away.

"Do you think she's proud of us?"

"I don't know, honestly. I don't think killing vampires was on her list of possibilities for our future." Judy giggled again.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Of course I am." I smirked. She poked my side and I jerked away. I hated being ticklish. I saw her yawn and had to practically drag her into the car.

We'd gotten used to sleeping in the car. She slept in the back and I slept in the front seat. Sometimes we slept in a motel, but it's not like we had any income so we were living on the money I'd withdrawn from mom's account. I had the cash stuffed into seat and cleverly made it look normal. Considering there was several thousand dollars I was able to withdraw before they froze her account, I didn't want it getting stolen.

I still couldn't sleep well and when I did I still saw her body and I never saved Judy in time. Sometimes I drove through the night while Judy slept, others I just stared at the roof, mostly though I just thought over my kills.

After I had finished the mother off I had searched the grounds for any more bloodsuckers. If there were any, they ran off. I sighed and tried to relax into the stiff leather.

I pulled the car into a parking lot of a motel and cut the engine. As soon as I got the key, Judy was running down the line of doors looking for the right one. She was bouncing on her heals waiting beside the door. I chuckled and opened it.

Saving money was top priority, but after a successful kill I checked us into a motel for a night for a chance to sleep in an actual bed.

Right as the door opened, Judy b-lined it to the bathroom and shut the door. We didn't get the chance to shower much either unless it was at a truck stop or something like that. She was in there for almost an hour while I laid on my bed with my mp3 player.

"Your turn." She chimed happily while drying her hair with a fluffy towel. "You stink by the way."

"Thanks." I glared at her before heading to the bath. The hot water felt great on my tense muscles. Hacking off heads was not easy, not to mention all the blood. I shivered at the memory of the feeling of blood on my skin. Thick and then crusty and the smell.

I took a deep breath of steam and pushed the memories away. I got out much quicker than Judy did. Couldn't understand why she took such longer showers considering she didn't even have to do all those girly things. I sighed and pulled on a pair of basketball shorts and laid the towel around my shoulders.

Judy was eating a PB&J while watching TV. I sat down beside her and we watched Tom and Jerry till late. At some point we both fell asleep and I rolled off the bed at three in the damn morning. I groaned and crawled into my bed after tucking Judy under the covers and we both sleep till almost noon.

"Ethan." I felt someone poke my face. Still half away, I brushed it away. "Ethan!" I jerked awake and nearly fell off the bed again.

"What?" I asked my breath uneven. She shrugged.

"Just wanted to make sure you weren't dead." I glared at her and rubbed my face. "You need a haircut." She chuckled while running her finger through my long hair.

"It's not that bad." I was still pretty groggy.

She tilted her head to the side and pinched her brows together. The exact same thing mom did when she was thinking. "You look more Emo that usual.

"I am not Emo." I glared at her harder. She shrugged again.

"All you need is some black hair dye and eyeliner." She smirked. I reached over and smacked her upside the head. The little jerk. Now she had me self-conscious so I went to the bathroom and picked up the scissors by the sink.

I'm no professional, but it wasn't bad. I didn't want to admit Judy was right, but. . .she was right. Damn her. I brushed the hair clippings into the trash and exited the bathroom. Judy stuck her tongue out at me when she saw me. I ignored her.

"Come on, Kiddo, time to get moving." I grabbed my bag and waited for her to pack hers.

"Hey, it's still pretty early. We could go see a matinée at the theater?" I thought about it for a few minutes. A little fun wouldn't be so bad.

"Alright, fine." She crushed my waist with a hug while squealing. She let go and I sucked in a deep breath finally able to breathe again. "That must be what it's like to wear a corset." I muttered leaning on my knees.

"Come on slow poke!"

"Don't try and kill me and I'll move faster!" I yelled back at her, but wasn't able to contain a smile. For being a little thing still she had a deadly hug.

It was nice to see a movie and Judy sure enjoyed it. After that we made a quick stop and the grocery store and we were back on the highway.

"Ethan, where are we going exactly?" I glanced back at her but her head was down, focused on her coloring.

"I don't know." We'd been driving for several months now, not in a straight line though, more of a zigzag. Hitting as many states as possible. Sightseeing really, and if I got whiff of a job we stuck around for a few weeks.

"Well, where ever we go next, can we go horseback riding? I think it'd be fun." I smiled softly. Judy always loved horses. I didn't have the heart to tell her mom had been planning something like that for her birthday, but obviously that never happened so instead she got a slice of chocolate pie with a candle stuck in it. I mean, she loved it, but I felt like I had seriously sucked at the role of big brother. Still do sometimes.

She should be in school, making friends, living life as a normal kid. Not reading books from the local libraries. At least she loved to read and learn. I tried to keep her out of the whole killing thing I did, but she was smart and knew what I was doing and often worried if I wasn't back by a certain time.

"Whad'ya think?" she held up her coloring book and the picture she'd been filling it.

"Looks awesome." I meant it too, it's a hell of a lot better that what I would have done at her age. One thing I _really_ didn't like is how much she's grown up lately. She doesn't act seven anymore and that worries me, but the thought of us getting separated and going to new families was an even worse thought. A lesser of two evils I guess.

"I miss her." Her voice was solemn. I hadn't even realized she'd opened the metal box and was looking through the pictures. It was the photo of Mom and Dean sitting on the hood of that nice car.

"I do too, Judy, I do too."

"Is that guy with her your dad?" I hadn't told her about the letter mom wrote.

"Apparently."

"You look like him."

"Ya think?" I smiled softly at her in the rearview mirror. She nodded while looking through the other pictures.

"Definitely, if you cut your hair shorter you'd look just like him."

"Not happening. I like my hair just the way it is." I hit the gas to pass a car.

"Wait, are you even legal to drive?" I shrunk back a little into my seat.

"Well, technically, no, no I'm not. But we haven't died yet so I can't be that bad." She glared at me from the back seat and I snorted in laughter.

"If you kill me, I'm haunting you." She jabbed her finger into my shoulder.

"I'll be looking forward to it, Kiddo."

"Midnight?"

"Midnight." I confirmed, shutting the trunk.

"You promise?" she crossed her arm and looked at me sternly. I held my hands up in a surrendering fashion.

"I promise." She frowned harder. "Look, how many times have I done this?" Her blue eyes rolled and muttered seven. "Exactly, everything will be just fine." I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. I gazed at her as I stepped back trying to be reassuring, "You know the rules." She nodded solemnly and locked the car doors after she got in. _Midnight,_ I thought and looked at my watch that read 10:06.

I'd staked out this place for a week. There were three men and six women. I'd definitely have to be quiet and efficient if I wanted to make it out unharmed, but I knew that was wishful thinking. I traced the thin scar on my left hand with my thumb. No matter how hard I tried to forget, shove down, or act like it never happened, it was always there to remind me what exactly happened that night and always in great detail.

God, how long ago was it now? Two-almost three years. Hard to believe I'd been doing this so long. I cut off into the woods to circle around to the back of the house. I watched for a few minutes and was about to exit the tree line when an old pick-up truck rumbled in. Two guys got out and dragged another guy with them to the house. He wasn't passed out, but he was gagged and look extremely drowsy and by the small trail of blood running down his neck I could tell that the bloodsuckers had been snacking. One thing I'd noticed over the years is that these bastards had a lot more control that the one that killed my mom. I never lingered on the thought for long, though.

My blood boiled as my mother flashed through my mind. I wish I could just forget her. I ran out of the trees thankful for it being early spring and the ground soft, swallowing up my footsteps. In one quick movement, as the larger of the two vamps turned his head it tumbled to the ground and before his partner could react, I had him at blades point and trembling.

Their captive stared up at me with pleading eyes, too tired and gagged to speak, but I knew what he wanted. _To forget and act like it never happened, to get away._ Yeah, I knew that well.

The bastard was about to speak, but I zeroed in on that sweet spot on the neck where my machete sliced through the neck with the least amount of resistance, struck and swung. Hard. A spray of blood followed and a large thud as the body fell soaking the grass.

I gently leaned down to the guy who was still pretty out of it but awake enough to be freaked out. Couldn't blame him, I'd be freaked out too if I saw a teenager cut off two guys heads. I tugged the gag out of his mouth and wrapped it around his neck in case the wound decided to reopen at some point. I picked him up under the arms and dragged him to the side of the house. He didn't respond besides with his eyes and a faint lift of his hand which I think was a thank you. I just hoped he had enough blood to survive till I could get him to a hospital.

I walked a few feet and cautiously peaked into the window but ripped my poor eyes away. After a few deep breaths and gags I looked back and confirmed what I had thought—and wished I hadn't—seen seconds before. The other guy and two of the girls were having a hardcore threesome. Gross, but their distraction would make my job easier and it explained why they hadn't heard the noise just outside.

Just as I predicted it was easy to cut the guy's head off and one of the girls, but by that time the other woman was aware of the situation and pissed off. I held my blade close to my body and looked her up and down. Blonde hair, hazel eyes, hour glass figure; pretty by society standards.

She smirked and walked towards me running her slender fingers over her pale body, trying to seduce me. But I had a secret weapon. As she neared she reached for me and I let her think she was getting to me. "I know what you want, come'er." She smiled sweetly. I licked my lips and looked her up and down again and made sure to linger in place. _Just a little closer._

I shoved my blade into her abdomen. Her eyes widened and her jaw fell open in a silent, surprised scream. I tore the knife out and finished the job. I glared at the blood on my hands and pooling around my shoes. After I searched the house for the other four women and didn't find them, I checked the time on my phone. _Crap, 11:31._ I had 29 minutes to finish the job and get back to Judy which wasn't going to happened. It'd take me longer than that just to walk back to the car.

"Dammit." I cursed and realized a vehicle was coming down the drive. I hid with the captive and pressed a finger to my lips. He nodded so slightly I almost didn't see it. I watched the other truck pull up and out stepped the four women and a couple of guys. They looked heavily drunk by the way they stumbled and laughed hysterically.

Suddenly, the women composed themselves and hit the three men over the head, knocking them out. Their ring leader barked an order to get them in side and tie them up, bringing them straight to me. I stood from my crouching position and tightened my grip on the machete.

One of them screamed and that's when I attacked. Slicing my blade through one neck and them pivoting on my foot and slicing off another head, but the third caused problems. I lost sight of her and was attacked from behind. She jerked me back hard and the blade fell from my hands. I struggled and kicked, but she was strong and threw me against the wall I had just been hiding against.

"Fucking hunter!" she loudly exclaimed to her leader. The girl started to cry and bent down to pick up the head of the first guy I'd killed. "He killed Jeff. . ." her words trailed off into a blubbering mess, but I felt no sympathy for her.

The older woman latched her hand around my neck and for a second I saw the vamp that killed my mother leaning toward me with bloody teeth. I squirmed as the woman tightened her grip and saw that her plain brown eyes were glassy.

"Fuck you, bitch." I spat. "You all deserve to die." The younger woman who had been cradling the severed head of her lover screamed and flung herself at me, pushing the other woman out of the way and punched me.

I saw stars for several seconds while she was screaming something along the line of "not wore eating". I pulled my self together and dove for my precious machete. Just as my hand wrapped around the blade she grabbed my leg and pulled me back.

"You hunters just can't mind your own damn business! We're just tryn'ta survive!" I was getting sick of her whining. I managed to jerk away and stand up, but my freedom didn't last long. An arm wrapped my throat. Could I for once just not have some try to cut off my breathing? Was that too much to ask?

"I'm gonna love killin' you." She purred in my ear and shiver ran down my spine.

"Good luck." I'd gotten out of worse situations that this and I wasn't about to die now, not yet. I drove my elbow into her ribs and heard her gasp, but her grip hardly loosened. I kept fighting as the other girl approached with her teeth out and hissing, aiming for my neck.

I struggled to figure out how to get out of this and knowing it was past midnight by now and that Judy was probably worried sick. _What would she do without me?_ That was enough to get me to fight harder, but it was all in vain.

I was beginning to see spots in my vision as that arm constricted on my throat. _I'm. . .sorry, Judy._

I watched helplessly as the bloodsucker pressed her teeth to my neck. I weakly brought my knee into her gut, but I was so oxygen deprived it was more of a gentle nudge. Still, she started gasping and the arm around my neck fell away. I fell to the ground and sucked in air greedily. I grabbed the machete and stood, whacking the head off the older woman as she reached for something.

I stumbled backwards still trying to suck air back into my body. Small arms wrapped around me and I nearly fell, but they kept me up. I leaned over on my knees and breathed deep. When I could think clearly I looked up and met worried bright blue eyes that were far too familiar.

"J-Judy?" I began to panic as I looked her over. Blood covered her hands and splattered her face. In her right had she held a hunting knife I'd bought in the last town we were in because I thought it looked cool. Behind her laid the body of the bitch about to tear out my neck. "What are you doing here?" I was still breathless and my voice a bit raspy.

"Saving your ass from getting killed!" she waved her arms around and spoke loudly. Too loud for my pounding head.

"You know the rules!" I hiss and stood up.

"I had a bad feeling." She muttered, less angry. "And it's a good thing I came, otherwise you'd be _dead._ " Her voice cracked and her lower lip trembled. I was still upset with her, but my anger dissipated.

I was about to say something when I heard the deep rumble of an engine coming closer. I jerked Judy to the wall to hide. I heard her gasp and lean down to the blood deprived man.

"He needs to go to a hospital. I parked the car close." She whispered. "His pulse is low." She muttered worriedly a few seconds later. I should have been worried for the guy too, but I was more worried about the incoming car.

I'd watched the house for a week, I knew there were only nine. I reached over slowly and picked up the machete and pressed myself against the rough wood siding. The engine cut and two doors open and closed. I didn't even realize I had my arm pressed against Judy's chest to make sure she stayed plastered against the wall.

"What the hell happened here?" I heard one voice. Deep and a little raspy.

"I don't know, Dean. Did you heard about any other hunters in town?" another voice. Not as raspy.

"No, but somebody did this." I heard footsteps and tensed then I realized that he was just gesturing to my handing work. I peeked around the corner and looked at the two voices. Two grown men looking very confused as they studied a body. I watched them till the longer haired guy looked up and saw me. I turned my head so that I was fully hidden again.

"Dean." He said lowly. I turned to Judy and mouthed 'run', but the brat shook her head looking very determined to defy me. I pulled her up and pushed her back as I heard the unmistakable sound of guns being pulled out and took off safety. Judy heard it too, but only tightened her grip on my black jacket.

The two men turned the corner, guns ready. I reached around and gripped Judy with one hand and with the other held the bloody machete out in front of me. I squinted into the light of their flashlights.

"Kids?" they both exclaimed confused, but I could care less about what they thought about the sight before them. I just wanted to get Judy to safety. They glanced at each other before turning the lights off and putting the pistols away.

"Did you do this?" the dark, long haired one asked while gesturing to the mess of bodies and blood.

"Yeah, so what." I spat, not trusting these guys. Judy peeked around me and looked at the two and then up at me. I just shrugged not sure what to say.

"You did this?" the other guy spoke, looking at me in disbelief.

"What are you, deaf?" his face fell at my sass.

"What's your name, kid?" the other guy with the long hair asked. I brushed the hair out of my face so I could see them better.

"Ethan Grey." I thought about a fake name, but figure what's the point.

"And I'm Judy, his sister."

"Who was supposed to stay in the car." I hiss and she looked away sheepishly.

"You really thought I was going to leave when you didn't get back in time. No! And besides, this is the second time I've saved you ass, so you owe me." She crossed her arms and smirked.

"Hey, language." I jabbed an accusing finger at her.

"Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass!" she chanted childishly and stuck her tongue out. I growled and drug a hand down my face. I throat cleared as I turned to the two men standing awkwardly and few yards away.

"What are your names then? Since we're being so friendly." I crossed my arms and glared at them.

"Dean Winchester and this is my brother Sam."

I tried to hide my shock. I really did.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm not sure what to do or say for that matter. Hell, I don't even know why I agreed to meet at this diner with Dean and Sam. I guess I was curious. About him, about other hunters, about this strange coincidence.

Judy and I had entered the little roadside restaurant just past 8 am, but the brothers were already there. Judy skipped on ahead, but I watched for a few moments. Dean smiled playfully at a waitress that handed him a slice of pie and then sent her a wink.

I could definitely understand why Mom fell for him.

As some point, Dean looked up and met my eyes, but I was lost between memories. I was only pulled out when he called me over with a wave of his hand.

Judy was talking with Sam about something that made him laugh. They seemed nice enough, but looks can be deceiving and three years of hiding built more than one wall.

I slid in beside Judy and in front of Dean. Judy leaned over and cupped her hands around my ear and whispered, "Is that _the_ Dean?" she pulled back and I looked into her wide blue eyes. I shrugged because, honestly, I wasn't sure. I mean, there could be hundreds of people named Dean Winchester. . .

"Hey, kid," I met Dean's gaze and brushed my bangs back to the side where they refused to stay.

"My name's Ethan." I felt my lip curl.

"Alright, _Ethan,_ what's up with you and hobbit girl gankin' bloodsuckin' douchebags?"

"Dean!" Sam hissed and glanced at Judy who was playing innocent like she hadn't heard anything. Dean ignored him with a shrug.

"Ain't you a little young?"

"Aren't you a little old?" I shot back. My wonderful little sister snorted beside me and Sam joined in but did better at hiding it. Dean pursed his lips and nodded before taking another bite of cherry pie. He swallowed and licked his lips.

"How long have you been at it?" he leaned back and crossed his arm with a steady scowl aim right at me. "Few months? Or was this your first? Maybe wrong place, wrong time?" he smirked and I knew he was just trying to aggravate me.

"Almost three years." I narrowed my eyes to a glare and watch a spark of surprise and somber softening his stiff brow.

"Really?" I turned to Sam. He had that same look. "What happened?" I shifted in my seat, suddenly very uncomfortable.

"One killed out Mom, so Ethan killed it and we ran away." Judy mindlessly tapped a fork against the table top and it was the only sound between the four of us for several minutes.

"So what, you decided to become a vigilantly?"

"And what would I have told the cops, Dean?" I sneered as I turned my self back towards him. "Tell them that this person was sucking the blood out of my mother's body and I killed him by cutting off his head?" I raised my eyebrow waiting for an answer that didn't come. He looked down and pursed his lips again. "And even if I lied about that, don't you think cutting off an intruders head is a bit overkill?"

"Alright, I get it." He held up a hand in surrender. I relaxed the tension in my shoulder. There were just too many emotions in my head for me to think clearly. "But what about her?" he nodded his head towards Judy.

"I think about it every day, Dean." I rubbed my face in frustration. I constantly thought about Judy and how this was effecting her. "I'm almost 18, so we'll settle down somewhere and I'll get her into school." At least that was the plan. There were plenty of issues we'd have to get through, but I knew we could do it.

"They would have taken me away from Ethan." She gripped my bicep. "I'd rather stay with him and read books than live without him." She drew her brows together and looked at the brothers steadily.

"Last night was a onetime thing." I decided to clarify. "I hunt alone, she stays in the car."

"I had a bad feeling." She defended and punched my arm. It didn't hurt, but I winced for her pleasure. "So Dean, do you have any kids?" I wanted to smack Judy, but restrained myself. She sat on her knees and leaned on the table on her forearms with a smug-curious look in her eye.

Dean smiled and got a wistful spark in his eyes. "Uhh, no."

"Doesn't really. . .work out in our line of work." Sam got that same look in his eyes. I guess it was safe to assume they shared their own set of tragedies.

"Are you sure?" Judy shifted to cradle her face in her hands. I felt my heart speed up. I'd kind of forgot my father was sitting in front of me. I was pretty sure it was really him now.

"Pretty sure, Kiddo." He smiled at her, but Judy frowned.

"What about your dad, Ethan? Surely you could have gone to him." Sam asked. Maybe the question was sparked by Judy cause it kind of came out of nowhere. I halfheartedly chuckled before responding.

"Good point, if he knew I existed. I was kind of an accident." Mom would always tell me I wasn't an accident and that I was meant to be. I guess getting past birth control, and possibly a condom, does that a great deal of luck. But nothing's happened so far in my wonderful life that's led me to believe I was meant for a higher purpose.

"Oh, that sucks." He said with a stiff expression. I guess it would be hard to come up with a response to that. "Do you know who your father is? Maybe I can track him down." He reached over to his side and pulled out a laptop from a bag I hadn't noticed. Dean smacked his brother's arm and smiled.

"Sammy here will take care of ya." After which he stood and started flirting with the waitress from earlier. Sam smiled tightly as his brother walked off and shook his head.

"Alright, what his name?" he looked up at me with his fingers poised over the key board. I gaped like I fish for several seconds before panic began to set in. I began to get up but Judy grabbed my hand and I stopped, caught by her aquamarine irises.

"Ethan, please don't run away. We already ran away once." She pleaded and tugged on my hand. I grumbled and sat back down, but didn't answer Sam. Judy gave me a cautious look before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a folded up photo. I had a pretty good idea of which one it was.

She gently unfolded it and rubbed her thumb against the crease, starring at mom longingly. She turned the photo around and slid it across the table towards Sam while looking him straight in the eye.

"My brother's full name it Ethan Winchester Gray. Winchester is his dad's last name."

Sam's eyes widened and his jaw fell open. He snapped his head around to look at Dean who was still flirting with the waitress and then back to me. "Oh my God."

I cut him off before he could sputter any more disbeliefs. "It was a week fling. By the time my mom found out she was pregnant, Dean was long gone." I sighed and toyed with Judy's fork. "I never thought I would actually meet him." I whispered, afraid my voice would crack. I looked up and watched Dean stroll over with a smug look on his face. I guess he landed the chick's number or something.

"So, find ol' baby daddy?" Dean smirked and scratched the stubble on his face.

"Yeah, Dean, we did." Sam smiled tightly and slid the photo over to Dean. I bolted from my seat and ran outside. I pulled on my hair as I slowed to a quick walk. I don't know what I'm afraid of. Rejection maybe? I don't know. I just needed to run.

I was perfectly fine with never meeting Dean. Sure I'd thought about it. Who wouldn't? But I never imagined he was a hunter, too.

I plopped down on a park bench about a block away from the diner. I'm not sure how long I sat there, but I was alright with it being forever. Sometimes I missed being a normal kid. Going to school, playing on the baseball team, I even missed the bullies. I'd rather fight them than vamps.

After a while, a person sat on the bench stretching their arms across the back. I looked at my hands, then a squirrel, then a funny looking cloud.

"I'll be honest, I don't remember your mom."

"Didn't expect you to. It's not like you two were serious." I didn't blame him. I did for a while, but not now.

"I-I mean the name rings a bell, but it was a long time ago." He leaned forwards on his knees and tried to see my face. I looked at my hands harder and found myself turning my palm over to look at the three inch scar. "How'd you get that?" I finally met his eyes but only for a split second.

"I was fifteen. I had a bat, but when that did stop it I went for a knife. I was frantic and just grabbed without looking. Then it attacked me and I thought I was going to die. The knife was just out of reach. And then Judy walked in and it went after her." I said rapidly. It just poured out.

"And then you killed it." Dean finished and I nodded. We sat in silence for several minutes.

"I don't blame you or anything." I blurted quickly. "I-I never thought I'd actually meet you. I mean, what's the chances both of us being hunters and on the same hunt?" I still couldn't believe it. Seriously, what the hell?

"I don't know." He turned his head to look at me. "But if there one thing I've learned in my screwed up life, it's that there is no such things as an accident."

"You think?"

"I do." He nodded. "At least you got my looks." He smirked and bumped my shoulder. I chuckled and brushed my hair to the side. "Come on." He started walking back to the diner and I followed.

Sam and Judy were by Dean's nice car waiting for us. We stopped a few feet away from them and I smiled at Judy.

"Does this mean we have a family again?" we chuckled but she was seriously waiting for an answer.

"You bet." Sam ruffled her curly hair.

"I'm 10 by the way." It was something she was very proud of

"Hey, you've still got two weeks, missy." I smirked when she stuck her tongue out at me.

"OK, so where are you taking us, Dean?" I wasn't nervous. I trusted Dean and Sam, but going into a forest after dark could set anybody on edge. I'm beginning to think Judy is immune to fear, or she's just trying to freak me out because she keep sing 'ring around the rosy' which we all know is about the black plague. "Seriously, Judy, stop!" she giggled and ducked my head smack.

"Aw, come on, Ethan. You ain't scared are ya?" Dean stopped and turned to me with a smirk. "Doesn't matter. This is far enough."

"It'd be great if you would explain what the hell we're doing out here anyway."

"Meeting a friend." Sam walked by to stand by Dean. I knew these guys were nuts. There's literally nobody out here. We're in the middle of a freaking forest and it's dark.

What sounded like a flap of wings caught my attention and then a voice. "Hello, Dean. Sam." I spun to face the voice.

"Who the heck are you?" I frowned at this new guy. It's like he came out of nowhere. His hair was messy and he kinda looked like a tax accountant. His tie was loose and laying funny, but even odder was the trench coat. I looked back to Dean. "Is he going to kill us?" I reached for a machete, but remembered I left it in the car. Great. I'm about to be killed by a tax accountant in the middle of a forest. Should have known I'd go out like this.

"What? No!" he looked offended.

"My name is Castiel, I'm an angel of the Lord."

"Yeah and I'm the Easter Bunny." Angel's aren't real. God's not real. Nothing good exists.

Castiel narrowed his eyes slightly and pressed two fingers to my forehead. A bright light floated through my vision. It wasn't blinding, but peaceful. For once in a very long time I felt at ease, but then he pulled his fingers away and reality crashed back it almost painfully.

"What the hell was that, you asshole?" I cradled my head and waited for the pain to pass and dropped to my knees.

"You are a very troubled young man, Ethan." He knelt to look at me with a worried look in his bright blue eyes. Not the same as mom's. His are darker, like the sky.

"How do you know my name?" I met his eyes feeling relief as the pain dissipated rather quickly.

"I know everything about you now. I told you I am an angel and a good friend of your fathers." I processed his words for a few seconds and looked over my shoulder at Dean. Our eye's locked and I saw so many emotions fighting in his green eyes: compassion, fear, worry,. . .hope.

"He's really mine?" he broke away to look at Castiel who simply nodded. I slowly stood and looked for Judy. She hadn't said anything this whole time. I found her standing by Sam.

"You're really an angel?" she approached Castiel and I knew what she was going to ask. "Do you know my mommy?" Castiel smiled lightly.

"Angela Gray. Yes, I know her. She is in heaven and very happy."

I frowned and felt my chest tighten. I don't know how, but I knew he was lying. But for the sake of my sister I said nothing. One more lie won't hurt anything.

"So what happens now?" I shoved my hands into my pockets and Judy came to stand by me. Sam looked between the five of us.

"We go home."

"This is your 'home'?" I couldn't believe any of this. It was all happening so fast. A day ago I didn't have any family and now I had a dad and an uncle. Not to mention I probably have a home now too. Judy was loving this to no end and had taken a particular liking to Sam.

"Yep." Sam smiled at me as he set his messenger bag on a table with a world map for the top. "Hey, can I ask you something?" I frowned, but nodded cautiously, nervous about what he would ask. "Why didn't you say anything about Dean being your father earlier? I mean if you knew. . .why not say anything?"

"I found out about Dean a few days after my mom died. She'd wrote a letter and I guess she was either going to tell me or give it to me, but she died before she could. I never thought I would ever meet Dean, so when you guys found us yesterday night it was a shock.

"I just figured you guys had your own lives and I didn't want to screw it up. And I might have been a little afraid of rejection." I stared at the floor and scuffed my shoe against it. "It's all just happening so fast." I whispered too low for Sam to hear.

"What about Judy?"

"Her dad left when he found out my mom was pregnant. He was only around for barely six months."

"I'm sorry." We stood in silence for a few minutes. He was about to ask us something else, but Dean cut him off.

"You two hungry?" my stomach answered for me with a deep growl. He chuckled and my cheeks flushed. "I'll take that as a yes."

"I want peanut butter and jelly!" Judy ran past me and jumped on Dean's back.

"Don't you eat anything else?" I swear that kid only had taste buds for that stupid sandwich. She turned her head and stuck her tongue out at me.

"Fine. I want a hamburger." She dropped from Dean's neck and ran to what I assumed was the kitchen. Dean sucked in a deep breath.

"Holy crap that kid's deadly." I snorted with laughter and followed Dean to the kitchen.

Judy already had her nose in a book and was a good chunk in when Dean set plates in front of us. It was amazing so I ate it slowly and savored the flavor. It'd been three year since I had a home cooked meal. Mom wasn't the best cook, but I missed everything about her. I guess it's only natural.

I was sitting in my new room later that night tossing a tennis ball against the wall and catching it over and over again.

For some reason I remembered my first day of high school. Not like it was much different from the rest of the grades, but it was when I'd tried out for the school baseball team—or after actually.

" _Hey Gray, looks like you might make the team after all." A chill ran down my spine at the voice and the fist that slammed into the locker door beside my head._

" _H-Hey, Drew." I quickly pulled on a clean shirt and stuffed my sweaty clothes into a duffle bag._

" _What? Too afraid to look at me?" he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around, slamming me into the lockers hard. I groaned in pain and my knees felt weak._

" _Can't you just leave me alone, Drew?" his grip tightened painfully on my shoulder._

" _Do you always ask stupid questions?" his fist slammed into my cheek and I crumbled to the ground. "Get up, faggot." He pulled me up by the collar of my shirt and punched me again. Dazed, I looked at him and pleaded him to stop._

I'm not sure why I thought about that day, but I reached up and touched my eye. Most of the time when I was younger it was always bruised because of that asshat Drew.

I realized I'd stopped tossing the ball and started again. I know why I didn't ever fight back against him. Well, now I do. Back then I would have never admitted it.

"Hey, Ethan." I caught the yellow ball and looked at Dean in _my_ door way.

"What?"

"Nothin', just wanted to talk." He shrugged walking toward me and sat beside me on _my_ bed. "Uhh, how to you like your room?"

"It's nice. Thank you." Something was bugging me though. "Look, Dean, Judy and I can leave if we're—"

"Stop." I shut my mouth and felt my cheeks flush. "I get that things are probably moving a little fast for you—hell, they are for me too—but you and your sister aren't going anywhere." He stood and came to stand in front of me. I dropped my eyes to my hands and felt tears brimming in my eyes.

"Really fast." I muttered and he sighed and sat back down placing a soothing hand on my shoulder.

"What's your favorite color?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Green." I said mostly confused.

"Hate most?"

"Grilled cheese." I gaged at the thought. I don't understand how people eat it.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's just so. . .gross."

"Alright then, no grilled cheeses."

His questions went on for a while and sometimes I would ask him questions. He told me how his mom was killed by a demon when he was a kid and a few other things like how he met Cas. Pulled his ass straight out of purgatory. Not sure if I believe him or not, but considering I met an angel tonight I'm not sure what's fiction and reality anymore.

After Dean left, I went and explored the bunker like Judy had done earlier. I found a library, a garage filled with more sweet ass cars, the kitchen and store room, and up a flight of stairs I found a room with a huge telescope.

When I was heading back to my room, though, I heard Dean and Sam talking in the kitchen.

"What are we going to do, Dean?"

"Sam, we'll figure it out." I couldn't see their faces, but I could make out their voices just fine.

"Yeah? And what if Crowley finds out about them, or the angels, or God knows what else! You know what happens to people who get close to us." I heard the worry, plain and clear in Sam's voice. Pain, too. How many people had they lost? I'm not sure I'm I wanted to know.

"So you want me to just kick them out? Send them back on the road? Is that what you want me to do, Sam?" Dean's voice rose in volume.

"No, of course not." Sam's voice softened.

"Like it or not, Sam, they were already heading towards us. It was only a matter of time before we ran into them or heard about them at least. We can protect them here." I frowned and really wanted to know what they were so worried about. I had the feeling Dean hadn't been telling me something earlier.

"And what if we can't, Dean?"

"We can take precautions, Sam, but the children must stay here." I hadn't realized Cas was here. He'd disappeared earlier for some reason I hadn't heard.

"We can call Charlie for one, she can stay with them when we're gone." I scoffed silently at Dean. I did not need a babysitter. I decided I should probably get back to my room before they caught me so I snuck away and passed Judy's room as I did. I stood in her door way for a while and watched her sleep.

I probably wouldn't sleep anyway. Not well anyway. I still had nightmares even after all this time.

"Ethan." I jumped out of my skin.

"Cas, seriously, give _some_ warning next time." I struggled to get my heart beat under control and shut Judy's door.

"I apologies." He took a step back from me. "I know you were listening to us." I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly and thought of maybe lying, but if he was really an angel he'd probably know. "I also know you don't sleep well, if at all." Before I could say anything he touched two fingers to my forehead and everything went dark.

"Ethan!" I opened my eyes groggily. Someone was shaking me and saying my name frantically. When my vison cleared up I saw it was my lovely little sister.

"What is it, Judy." I groaned and shut my eyes. She shook my harder.

"Ethan, there's something wrong with me!" she hissed. I cracked an eye opened. She looked fine.

"What's wrong with you Judy?" I decided to play along. I was still only half awake.

"I'm bleeding?" I opened both eyes and sat up on my elbows.

"What?" I don't think I heard her correctly.

"I woke up this morning and I was bleeding." Her eyes started to water.

"From where?" my heart quickened. _Surely not. She's only 10, I thought we would have had at least a year or two._ She bit her lip and looked away.

"Down there like Mommy used to sometimes." Her cheeks were a little pink. "Am I going to die?"

"Crap. No, you're not dying." I chuckled lightly at her innocence. "You'll be just fine. Go get changed and we'll go get you some stuff." She nodded shakily and ran out of the room. I got out of bed and rubbed my face.

"Hey, Ethan, bout time you woke up. Cas said he hit you with his some of his angel mojo. Hungry?" my stomach grumbled, but Judy's problem couldn't really wait. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that smelled decent.

"Can't. I'm going out with Judy for a little bit. Gotta get some stuff." I circled my room looking for the car keys.

"Why? Can't it wait? I made pancakes." He whined. I clicked my tongue when I remembered my keys were in my jacket pocket. I pulled them out and walked past Dean.

"No, it can't wait. We'll be back in less than hour. We'll eat pancakes when we get back." I nearly ran into Judy.

"Alright, but I'm coming with you." He snatched the keys from my hand. Judy looked up at me panicked. I guess she wanted this to be just between us.

"You don't have to, Dean. We're just running to the store and back real quick." I tried to grab my keys back, but he held them above his head and out of my reach. I may have got his looks, but I got Mom's height. Dammit.

"What's so important that you have to leave right now?" I groaned in frustration. Judy tugged on my sleeve. I watched the color drain from her face just before she ran to the bathroom.

"Look, just give me the damn keys!" he was pissing me off. We argued until Judy came out still looking pale and teary eyed. "If you're coming, come on." I grabbed Judy's hand and started pulling her toward the front door, Dean right behind us.

I got into Dean's car not really happy that I lost, but Judy was more important than winning an argument with him. "Just the store?" he asked still curious about what was going on.

"Yep." I turned so I could look out the window more comfortably. "Judy, do you feel ok?" I asked as we entered town. She only nodded still pink in the cheeks. "Ya sure?"

"Yeah." She nodded quietly. Dean pulled the car to a stop outside the store. Judy was the first out of the car.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Dean asked as we walked through the sliding doors.

"Nothing good." I mentally groaned. This was just great. My adorably little sister was growing up and this was a major step in that direction if not the biggest.

"Crap."

"Yeah." I breathed.

"But isn't she, like, 10? Isn't that a bit early?"

"I don't know. I don't know when our mom started or anything. I don't know anything about this."

We followed Judy into the aisle that had the pads and such. There was a lot to choose from, but I did know tampons were out of the question. After five minutes and consulting a female worker we left with a package of assorted pads and Midol.

Such an eventful morning. I was definitely ready for those pancakes.


	4. Chapter 4

**I want to apologize profusely for my absence. I didn't like the original chapter I posted so I deleted it and rewrote it and I love it now. Things in the story are going to be heading down a much darker path starting with the next chapter, so if you have any triggers please do not read. Aside from that I'm going to try to start posting regularly again. I really am sorry, but writer block got the better of me along with school and plain laziness. I hope this makes up for it. It would be amazing if you could drop a comment when you finish and let me know how you think the story is going that would be totally amazing and make my day and encourage me to keep post because I'm and attention whore like that.**

 **I won't keep you waiting any longer. Please enjoy!**

* * *

I perused the candy isle for a long time before I settled on a snickers. Judy was already half way through her chocolate bar. Sam and Dean were across the street at the sheriff's office talking with the deputy about the killing that occurred two days ago. Some guy got his heart ripped out and it took them about point two seconds to figure out it was a werewolf just from reading the article.

I paid the clerk and took a bite of the chocolatey goodness. It was hot when we exited and I wish we could have stayed in the store, but the clerk was already threating to kick us out the moment we walked in. I guess he doesn't like wayward kids or something.

"Hey, y'all new round here?" Judy and I both turned to look at the sudden voice. It was a guy, about my age, with curly blond hair, tanned skin, and hazel eyes.

"Um, ya." I gripped my candy bar a little too hard. Beside me, Judy giggled and elbowed my side.

"I'm Lucas." He held out his hand with a charming smile showing off his pearly white teeth. It took me a second to react, but I reached out and shook his hand.

"I'm Ethan and this is my sister Judy." He smiled down at her.

"So what brought you two into our little slice of heaven?" he placed a hand on his hip.

"Family. . .road trip." I stuttered. A quick glance to the police department told me they weren't done and couldn't save me from my embarrassment.

"Then where are your parents?" he quirked a brow and his smile turned into a devious smirk. I had to swallow a few times to loosen up my throat enough to speak.

"They're off doing something they thought we'd be bored with, so they left us here to explore the town, but we're kinda lost on where to go." Just stuck out her lower lip in a pout. I gave her a questioning look, but she just winked.

"I could show y'all around." Lucas shrugged like it was no big deal, but the glint in his eyes said otherwise.

"Oh, you don't have to. I'm sure we can manage. Besides, I'm sure you're super busy." It was at that moment I realized my sister either a genius or sociopath. I'm not sure.

"Actually, you caught me on my day off."

"Great!" my Snicker's was nothing more than a pile of mush running down my hand.

"Guess, you're not gonna eat that?" he smirked and pointedly glanced at my once candy bar. I shook my hand and most of it landed with a splat on the hot concrete. He chuckled and I felt my cheek redden from the embarrassment. I made a quick excuse and ran back into the 7/11 to wash my hands.

"How about the beach first, Ethan? You can't come to Florida without seeing the beach." I didn't trust my voice so I nodded. We headed down the side walk Judy ahead of us. "So where y'all from?"

"North Carolina, but we recently moved to Kansas."

"Huh. And you're on a family road trip?" I scratched the back of my neck nervously.

"Yeah, something like that. More like a business trip. Family business. Judy and I are learning the ropes." Lots of ropes. Lots of new monsters to learn how to kill. Just in case of course.

"What's the business?" his curls looked gold in the afternoon sunlight and one fell across his forehead.

"Well, it's my dad and our uncle. They sell insurance, I think. I'm not all that interested in it." I lied easily. The beach was in sight now and I could see big waves rolling in and a few peoples surfing.

"You ever been?" he pointed to the people riding the waves.

"No." he grinned and grabbed my hand and then Judy's when we reached her. I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted on paying for our wetsuits. Judy was thrilled to find out hers came in pink. Mine was plain black. I sent a quick text to Dean telling him where we were before shoving it into a locker Lucas rented there since he came a lot. Lucas shoved a board into my hands and handed Judy a smaller version. I situated the board against my side like he had and followed him down to the water.

Judy was bouncing with excitement as Lucas gave us a crash course in surf safety.

I was about halfway standing on the board when I lost my balance and got a lung full of salt water. I sputtered and coughed. Luckily the water here was only waist deep. I heard someone holler and turned around to see some guy do an awesome flip.

"Don't worry," Lucas clapped a hand on my back, "you'll get the hang of it. Judy's getting the hang of it." I watched my little sister successfully ride the smaller wave till it leveled out and give a victory fist pump. "Come on, let's try again."

We waded out to the deeper water and I climbed onto the board and watched for a new wave. Lucas paddled beside me towards the approaching wave. "Alright, turn and paddle hard." He instructed. I shoved my hands into the water, pushing as much of it as I could and watched as we began to rise with the water.

I started to stand. Trying to keep my center of balance tight, but I still wobbled some. "Hey, you're doing it!" I shot a smile at Lucas and dropped to my knees as the wave smoothed out. "Ready to try out the big ones?" I gulped and looked over my shoulder at the much larger waves crashing behind us. I was about to tell him yes when the very distinctive rumbled of the Impala cut through the waves crashing.

"Looks like we have to go actually." I smiled apologetically and he sighed dramatically,

"If you have to." He smirked. By the time we got to the rental shack, Sam and Dean both had hotdogs in their hands from the concession stand. Figures.

"You've been surfing this whole time?" Dean asked while wiping mustard from the corners of his mouth.

"Lucas has been teaching us." Judy explained happily. Said blond was standing incredibly close even with all this room on the beach, he had to stand so close our arms were pressed together and our thighs brushing. But it's not like I moved away. I figured I could get away with blaming the blush on a sunburn.

"Nice to meet you, sir." Lucas stepped away just enough to shake Dean's hand and then Sam's.

"Maybe I can actually show you around tomorrow?" he turned to me, a curl falling across his forehead again. I had to fight the urge to brush it back into its place.

"Yeah, sound great." My voice came out a little strained and I mentally cursed while Judy giggled.

"Great." He came even closer looking my straight in my eyes. I didn't even realize he'd taken my board from me till he'd started to walk away.

"Ethan. Earth to Ethan. Is anybody home?" Judy was waving her hand in front of my face. I smacked it away and glared at her. Dean just looked confused, but by the smile Sam was suppressing I knew he knew.

I stalked to the changing room while furiously rubbing my cheeks to get rid of the blush. Lucas came toward us back in his t-shirt and shorts, carrying what looked like our clothes.

"Tomorrow I'm working, but I get off at 3. You and Judy are welcome to come by if you want, though." And he left. I didn't even know where he freaking worked!

"Hey, look at this. Ethan has a boyfriend!" Judy snatched a piece of paper tucked partially into the pocket of my jeans and paraded around with it. I snatched it from her hands.

"Shut up!" she giggled and ran off to a changing room before I could get my hands on her.

I closed the curtain and looked at the strip of paper.

 _Sea Side Farms_ and a number wrote below it. I tried not to think much of it but it was hard.

Judy was standing by Sam and Dean when I got out. "So, Lucas seems nice." Sam smiled knowingly at me while Dean still looked confused and Judy giggled.

"We're going to go see him tomorrow, aren't we Ethan."

"Probably. He invited us after all. It'd be rude not to show up." I answered carefully. "Did you guys figure out if this is a real case or not?"

"Oh it's real alright. There's also been murders in the surrounding towns that they wrote off as animal kills."

"How big do you think the pack is?" I was new to werewolves, but I'd skimmed the journals they had in the trunk. Shooting them with silver sounded a lot easier and having to cut off their heads with machetes.

"Not sure yet, but we'll probably be here a while." Sam smiled at me.

* * *

Judy and I were in our shared motel room watching Tom and Jerry when Dean came in. "Hey Judy, Sam needs help picking out a tie."

"He better not wear that ugly pink one!" she practically ran out of the room. Dean chuckled halfheartedly.

"Is something wrong?" I swung my legs over the side of the bed and waited for him to say something.

"No, I was just wonder when you were gonna tell me." He crossed his arms nonchalant and watched the TV screen smirking with Jerry his Tom's foot with a mallet. I rested my cheek in my hand and decided to play dumb.

"Tell you what?"

"About you and Lucas." He sounded a little flustered.

"Yeah, he seems nice." Very nice. "Just met him this afternoon. It was really nice of him to give us surf lesson, don'tcha think?" I smiled innocently up at Dean.

"I mean, I kinda figured. You're my kid after all and you hadn't even looked at a girl and you're—how old are you?"

"Seventeen." I was just amused now.

"You're 17 so. . .I figured."

Dean was a pretty easy going guy, so I didn't think this sort of thing bothered him. Maybe surprised him, but I think he could care less what someone's sexual preferences were as long as they were a good person. Maybe it was because of his new "dad" role he was trying to play loosely that had him fidgety about the subject.

"And you're right." I shrugged bad memories coming up. "Back home, I was bullied pretty bad for it." I still had nightmares about the train.

"How bad?"

"The worst was when they tied my arms to the train tracks." I saw horror ignite Dean's features. "There was just enough rope for me to stand. They stood off to the side laughing. I really think they would have let the train hit me." I could almost feel the tracks vibrating under my feet. I realized I was actually just trembling from the memory. "One kid started to freak out when the train came out from the bridge and cut the rope. Most of the time, though, it was just normal bulling that happened."

Dean looked like he was having trouble forming words at the moment and I couldn't blame him. Mom had been livid. She fought for months to have the guys charged, but nobody listened.

I hate small towns.

* * *

I could get used to living on the beach. It was one thing to wake up in a crappie motel. It was another to wake up in a crappie motel room and hear waves crashing just outside your window. As I stood on the incredibly small balcony overlooking the beach, I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. A breeze rustled through my unbrushed hair carrying a salty sent. Yeah, this was nice.

Judy was beginning to stir and I figured Sam and Dean were already up. I leaned against the rot iron rail with white chipping paint and tried to burn the image of the silent beach into my memory, scent and all.

"Have they caught the werewolves yet?" Judy yawned and rubbed her eyes as she came to stand by me and rest her chin on the rail still half asleep.

"Nope."

"Mom would have liked it here."

"I think anyone would like it here."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She yawned again. "Did you tell Dean about the train?" I looked at her a little shocked, but her focus was on the surf.

"I did."

"Ethan, why are people so mean? There's already so many monsters, why do people have to be monsters, too?" I want to tell her that there were more good people than bad, but that would be lying to her. Then again, I didn't even know the answer. I liked to think that everyone is good and people just make back choices, but I think it might be the other way around.

"Maybe people are no different from what we call monsters, Judy. I think we all have a little monster in us. Sometimes it gets the better of us."

"I think some people are the worst kinds of monsters. I don't think werewolves would do to you what those boys did." I gnawed my lip between my teeth. I wanted to say something more. She was my little sister after all and I wanted her to think the world was ultimately still good for a while longer, but I knew that ended the night that mom was murdered. "I think you let your monster out the night mom died, Ethan." She looked up at me for a second and then back out to the ocean. "You don't smile the same anymore."

"Alright, we have donuts!" Dean declared before dropping the box on my bed. They were dressed in their suits. "We got a few more leads outside of town a little ways. You'll be fine?"

"Dean."

"What?"

"I think they can handle themselves for a few hours." Dean threw his hands up and left. Sam gave us a tight smile before he followed after his brother.

"They're kinds weird, aren't they?"

"They're somethin' alright." Judy was already halfway through a glazed. I grabbed a blueberry. "What do you want to do today?"

"I thought we were going to go see Lucas." She stuck out her lip cutely.

"Not till later."

"Fine." She huffed and pulled out another donut to munch on while she thought. I really didn't care what we did as long as we didn't stay in the stupid motel and we weren't out in the stupid heat. "We could. . .go to the beach. It's too early to do anything else." True. I finished my donut and we left.

The beach was empty. It was still too early for most residents to be out and it was Monday so they were probably working. That left just me and Judy and the vacant stretch of sand.

"When I grow up I want to have a big, fancy three story house right on a beach like this. Then every morning I could sit and watch the waves and at night watch the sun go down on it." Judy kicked the sand with her bare feet. We'd both taken our shoes off in favor of the still cool sand. "What about you? What do you want?"

"I want island."

"An island?" she giggled.

"Yeah. Just me and nobody else. It's perfect."

"You'd get lonely with no one to complain about." She was probably right, but I wasn't about let her ego know that.

We walked for a while longer. Some tourists now occupied part of the beach, but for the most part the morning quiet was still intact. Noon was approaching as well as my anxiety about seeing Lucas again. I couldn't get yesterday out of my head. I figured I was just reading into too much. People around here seemed extra friendly—except for the 7/11 clerk—maybe Lucas was too and just didn't realize what he was doing. Then again I had a feeling he knew exactly what he was doing. He got so close I could pick out the individual colors of his irises. Honey, emerald, a little gold thrown in, the richest brown I've ever seen. And the way that curl kept falling across his forehead.

"You're think about Lucas, aren't you?" Judy grinned up at me and wiggled her eyebrows. I scoffed and tried to formulate a response of any sort. Anything was better than flopping my mouth like a fish. "Your blushing." Her grin grew. I crossed my arms childishly and huffed. _Damn her._ "Well, come on, let's go see him!" she grabbed my arm and started dragging me back up the beach toward the main road.

"Judy! Hold on!" her small hand had a vise grip on my wrist as she dragged me, but she let go when we came to the blacktop.

"Where to now?" she placed her hands on her hips and looked up and down the road as cars passed. I dumped the sand out my shoe that I'd collected while being forced to run up the beach. I then pulled out the piece of paper Lucas had left with my clothes yesterday hesitantly and looked at the address. I pulled up Google Maps and typed it in.

"Uh, this way." I pointed to the left and we began walking.

I thought I was weird that Lucas worked at a farm in a beach town, but figured there was an interesting story behind it all. We stood outside the barn-like structure unsure of what to do.

"Sea Side Farms and Equestrian Tours. Information inside." I studied the pretty white sign wrote with black calligraphy that was a little hard to decipher. "Well, it's worth a shot." We shrugged in a what-the-heck sort of way and head to the shack looking building the sign was pointing to.

I pushed the door open and a little bell jingled above me. A man looked up from the papers sprawling his desk and smiled deepening the wrinkles around his eyes. "Hello, how may I help you? Are you interested in a beach tour?"

"Un, no—not right now anyway—we're looking for someone."

"You must be Lucas's friends. He said you might be stopping by. He's in the stables. Head into the barn right there and you'll find him. Let me know if you're interested in a tour!" he called as we left the office. Judy and I walked through the barn—instantly assaulted by manure and hay—and marveled at all the horses fussing and making their noises.

"This is cool." Judy breathed and I nodded in agreement.

"I was wondering if you two would show." Lucas peeked around at us from a large bundle of hay he was carrying. He swiftly tossed it into the stable of a particularly large horse with ease.

"We had nothing else to do and you offered, so I figured why not." I rambled and I realized it might have sounded rude, but he either didn't pick up on it or ignored it, either of which I was thankful for.

"Judy, you want to go for a tour? They're actually getting ready to take some kids out now if you want to go. If it's ok with big brother?" I rubbed at my cheeks and tried to forget the way he phrased that out of my mind.

"Please!" Judy pleaded with her hands balled under her chin and best puppy dog eyes on. I wasn't going to say no anyway, but I pretended to think about.

"Yeah, go ahead." I ruffled her head of dark curls right before she squealed and ran off.

"Marty, you've got another one!" Lucas turned a corner with my little sister and I was left with the two dozed horses. I'd never ridden a horse before unless you count the pony walking in circles at the county fair, which I don't. That little pony is nothing compared to this black beauty that stood what seemed several feet higher than me.

He snorted and clopped forward, lifting his head up over the stable door. I lifted my hand, palm towards him, and gently laid it in his long nose. He snorted again, his nostrils flaring. His eyes were dark just like the rest of him with incredibly long lashes and fluttered with each blink. Definitely the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen.

"He likes you." I jumped at Lucas's sudden appearance. He didn't seem to notice he startled me. "Judy will be gone for about an hour, so I guess it's just you and me." He smirked and my stomach did some funny dance.

"I guess so." I turned back to the horse who was still looking at me like he had nothing better to do.

"Do you want to ride him?" I sucked a breath in sharply through my teeth at his close proximity.

"Can I?"

He shrugged, "Sure." And smiled at me as he flipped the latch up and the beast of a horse walked out. I watched as he skillfully saddled the horse up.

"What's his name?"

"Maximus. Owners aren't too creative, but I guess it fits." He tightened one last strap and turned to me. "Ready?" I gulped, but nodded. It took a few tries, but I finally got on and swooned from the sudden height. "How's the weather up there?"

I chuckled, "A bit chilly actually." I joked.

"Move your foot."

"Huh?"

"Move. Your. Foot." I did as told and watched him swing himself over with ease right behind me with no space in between. I tried to move forward, but he just closed the distance. "Alright Maxi, let's go." Lucas took the bridle from my hands and nudged Maximus's side with his foot. "You still cold?"

It was a good thing I was facing forward because with his breath on my neck, the no space between us, and his little comments, I could only imagine my face was redder than the tomatoes fresh from mom's garden.

"I'm good, thanks." I was proud that I'd managed to keep my voice neutral sounding. He turned Max towards the beach.

"No, problem." It was more of a hum as he rested his chin on my shoulder. I didn't have so much faith in my voice now. "How long are you in town?"

"Probably not much longer." I figured Sam and Dean would have the case wrapped up in less than a few days and then we would head back to Kansas.

"Hmm, then that's a problem."

"W-why?" he didn't answer me, but I'm pretty sure I heard him chuckle. "So what's the deal with a farm beside the ocean anyway?" I turned my head slightly and my cheek brushed against his forehead.

"During the day, we give tours through the woods, but at sun set a bunch of couples come out to ride a horse down the beach side and watch the sun go down over the gulf. It's romantic and it sells." Yeah, that made sense. "Don't you think?" he hummed against my neck and I'm sure he could feel my erratic pulse which only made it worse.

"I can certainly see the appeal."

"Where are you from again?"

"North Carolina."

"That explains your cute accent."

"I—" I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't make me sound stupid, so I just kept my mouth shut. "I don't have an accent." That's not entirely true. I'd done my best to get rid of it after That Night. It's not like I don't like my accent, no, I like my southern draw, but it sure as hell isn't cute.

Lucas seemed to sigh unhappily and turned Max around, heading back to the farm. "Your sister is very informative, you know." _Crap. Crap. Crap._

"Is she?" _yep, I'm screwed. I'm gonna kill her._

"Mhmm." hehummed against my neck.

"H-How so?"

"Nothing really, well, nothing I didn't already know." I wasn't _that_ readable. I didn't like to think I was anyway, but I had let my guard slip a little lately, but still.

"What?" I wanted to know what Judy told him, so I could punish her accordingly. He leaned back causing him to lift his head off my shoulder. I mentally whined at the loss of attention. He pulled Max to a stop inside the barn.

"Oh, just that you're a hopeless romantic and that this would totally work." He replied nonchalant, but when I spun to look at him—as best I could sitting on a horse anyway—he had a shit eating grin on his pretty face and my tongue became a knot in my mouth.

"You—I'm—she. . .!" somehow this guy had the ability to steel my entire vocabulary for me with that smile.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed." He leaded forward a little, our noses brushing. He was a bit taller than me so I was also looking up at him and my back was starting to hurt from the position. I happily got off after him, nearly landing on my ass because I miss judge distance. "Are you always this clumsy?"

"Afraid so." I chuckled while brushing myself off. I stiffened when a hand pushed my bangs out of my face.

"I've never seen eyes as green as yours." I could feel my blush returning with vengeance. I failed at keeping my eyes on his, instead they dropped to his mouth and I bit my lip. He pulled back suddenly and looked upset. I realized Maximus had bit his hair and pulled back.

"Stupid horse!" I started to laugh and after a few moment he began to laugh with me. "Alright, Bud." He quickly removed the saddle and placed it back on the wall while Max walked into his stall. I was amazed at how well trained he was.

"Come here." Lucas took my hand and led me upstairs to a large room full of loose hay. Lucas stopped and pivoted me around him. He let go of my hand and I lost my balance, landing on the soft straw. I stared up at Lucas completely miffed. He smirked and next thing I knew he was on top of me.

His mouth met mine a bit rough, but then gentle. I returned the kiss completely. I shifted in the soft hay and wrapped my arms his neck wringing my finger through his lovely curls. He pulled away breathing heavily. The next kiss was rougher, hungrier. His left hand reached up under my shirt, lifting it up allowing some hay to poke me in the back. I moaned quietly at his touch sliding over my chest.

I had to pull away this time. I looked up at Lucas and into his hazel eyes a bit darker in the dim light of the loft. He smiled softly and kissed my jaw and peppering kisses all the way down to the bit of collar bone peeking out on my shirt. His touch lingered hotly on my skin. He pulled my shirt up over my head and then his own.

This was escalating quickly. I wrapped my arms around Lucas and pulled him as close as I could. I felt him smile against my skin just before he rolled off of me. I groaned at that, a bit upset that he stopped. He smiled and leaned over to kiss me again tenderly.

I wanted that. I wanted someone to love me.

"Your sister will be back soon and the other kids. Can't have them finding us, can we?"

"I guess not." I huffed. He kissed my cheek and lingered there taking deep breaths. I brushed that silly curl that wouldn't stay put from his forehead.

I hoped Sam and Dean wouldn't be able to solve the case for a while.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone who has followed, favorite, reviewed, and just read the story.**

 **Warnings: graphic descriptions of violence and gore. Please don't hate me too much.**

I barely paid any attention to what Sam and Dean had been doing. As far as I knew they were investigating the killings in the surrounding town still. Maybe I should have paid more attention to what they had been doing, but it was hard to focus on anything with Lucas kissing my neck and the ocean rolling in no more than ten feet away.

He smiled at me, a glint in his eyes. "Can I ask you something?" I nodded, a little worried at his sudden seriousness. "When are you leaving?"

"When Dean gets business handled, I guess. I don't know when that will be, though." I shrugged, digging into the sand a little. Lucas plopped down beside me and we both stared at the sky for a long time, but it could have been a few minutes. I'm not sure, but I didn't care either.

"Why do you call him Dean if he's your dad?"

"Because I just met him a few months ago." I looked out at the water and tried to imagine an island just over the horizon where everything was reverse: big animals were small and vice versa, people were always nice, and there were no monsters. But that was just a silly dream, and I knew that, that's why I turned back to look at Lucas. "I don't want to talk about it." I shook my head and felt the cool sand brush my scalp.

"I didn't ask you to. Besides, I understand, my families less than phenomenal, too." He waved it off with a flick of his hand and I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm pretty sure I still have you beat in the dysfunctional family department." I smirked. He quirked a brow at me.

"You sure about that?"

"Yep." I popped and sent him a sideways glance. We left it at that. I guess neither of us wanted to divulge into the problems that wrecked our families. I wasn't sure I could anyway. I guess we all have our monsters. Just another one to add to the list.

I pulled my new phone Dean had gotten me out of my pocket and sighed. "I have to go."

"Come on, then." He stood and held a hand out to me the sun behind him like a halo. I laid there for a few seconds more trying to preserve the moment for as long as I could, but eventually he rolled hazel eyes and pulled me up with force. He was a lot stronger than he looked, I'd noticed.

"I don't know if I'll be able to see you tomorrow." He said a while later looking a little down.

"That's alright. Do you have to work?"

"No, it's this thing my brothers and I do. Sometimes we pack up and go camping for a night. I'll be back by tomorrow. . .some time, but I'm not sure when."

"Then we'll hang out when you get back." I smiled and it seemed to settle his nerves some.

"You're the best. No wonder Judy likes you so much." He teased. We fell into a comfortable silence that lasted all the way back to town.

I could hear the rumble of the Impala a few blocks away, but I couldn't tell if it was coming closer or going further away. Then my phone buzzed with a text from Dean.

 _Got some new information. Come back to the motel._ I replied with a quick "ok".

"Motel?"

"Yep." I nodded and put the phone back in my pocket. Lucas lived in the other direction and apparently his brothers were strict about what time he was supposed to home. I pulled him into a quick hug and we parted ways.

I stared at the motel for several minutes. I couldn't even remember the name of it, the sign was at the front of the building facing the highway, but I wasn't about to walk out there to find out. Most of the—what I assume was red paint, but had now faded to a musty pink you might find in an old folks home—was peeling or completely gone. The light fixtures that hung outside each room were either broken or flickered. Overall the place looked sketchy, but was somehow full of residents. I guess this place did have nice food and was right next to the beach, but still, you'd think people would have higher standards.

I shrugged it off and headed up to Sam and Dean's room. I didn't bother to knock. The last time I did, Dean had opened the door and looked at me with like I had two heads. Judy was jumping on one bed, but never made it higher than a few inches. Sam was on his laptop with his brows knitted in what Judy called his "thinkin' face" and Dean and working his way through a burger while simultaneously looking at a case file.

"Where have you been?" he asked me when he realized I'd entered.

"Does it matter?" Judy snickered as she fell on her bottom, bounced, and winked at me. I gave her a glare, but I knew she wouldn't say anything. Dean looked at me for a few seconds before shaking his head. He picked up a journal and tossed it towards me.

"Read up on that. Never know what shit you'll run into. Ya'know, just in case."

"Dean." Sam scolded and sent a pointed glance towards Judy. Dean must have missed it though.

"What?" I smiled a little bit at Sam's exasperated sigh.

"You said you had some more information?"

"Oh, yeah." Sam said, pulled from his stare down with Dean. Sam reached into his bag and pulled out a map that he then spread out on the bed Judy was sitting on. There were a bunch of x's drawn in sharpie and black lines connecting them.

"These are where the attacks happened?" he nodded and pointed to where the lines converged.

"This is where the pack is." I leaned closer to where his finger pointed and saw that it was this town. I frowned and tried to remember if I'd seen anyone strange while staying here, but no one stood out.

"Well, whoever they are they're good at hiding."

"Yeah, they've been doing it for nine years." Dean added in while looking over a victims report.

"Do you know where they are?" Judy asked while frowning at the map. I couldn't believe they've gotten away with it for so long. It meant they must be really good and that worried me.

Sam frowned, "We're getting close," he gathered up the map after studying it for a few more seconds.

If they've been able to hide for nine years I wondered if we'd be able to kill them before they kill someone else. I wanted to help them kill these things, but I'd just be a liability. Hunting vampires was one thing. Werewolves were another. Even if all I had to do was load their chest with silver, I'd never held a pistol let alone shot one before.

I looked over the journal and flipped it open to a random page and squinted. "There is no way a 'rugaro' is real."

"Oh yeah, it is." Dean nodded, taking a swig of his beer. "Nasty things. Have to set them on fire." Now I was looking at _him_ like he had two heads. I flipped to another page.

"What the heck's a wendigo?" the drawing certainly looked creepy.

"Cannibal turned monster. Have to torch them, too." Sam answered. I decided I should probably put the book down.

I'd woken up the next morning just before sunrise and since Judy was asleep, I left. I found a little coffee shop just down the street and decided this would be a great place to start off the morning. The sun was a glimmer on the horizon when I walked in and a little bell chimed above me.

I ordered a coffee and settled into a lounge chair and pulled a little table over to set my coffee and crescent on while I studied the freaktastic journal Dean gave me yesterday. I started on the first page and was a good way through it and my coffee when Lucas plopped down in front of me.

"What are you reading?" his eyes a little wide and confused. I had it laying in my lap in full view for him to see. I quickly picked it up and shut it before he could read any more than the bold lettering spelling out LIVIATHAN. I _really_ hoped I'd never run into one of those.

"Just some book I found at a bookstore. I thought it looked interesting. I can't believe someone actually spent the time to make up all these creatures." I lied and felt bad for it, but I couldn't tell him the truth. I cleared my throat when he didn't say anything. "I thought you were camping?" I frowned. I hadn't expected him to be back for a few more hours at least.

"I told you, my brothers are weird." He shrugged and stole my coffee. I watched smugly as he took a sip and gaged. "Oh God its black!" he sputtered and practically threw my mug back on the table. It was a good thing it was half empty. "You can have your devil's juice back."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "Did you have fun on your trip?" I took a sip of my coffee and wrinkled my nose. It was getting cold. "It tastes better warm."

"I'm sure, and I always enjoy sleeping on the cold ground with my stinky brothers." His voice laced thickly with sarcasm. I laughed harder.

"It can't be that bad." I muttered, taking another sip of my luke-warm coffee. Lucas raised his eyebrows and I could tell he was about to go into a full on rant. He did, and it was extremely entertaining. Just as he huffed out a final sigh my phone buzzed. It was a little past seven now and the sun was shining brightly through the tented windows of the shop.

 _Where are you?—Judy_

"Coffee shop just down the street. You want something?" I sent it and just as I set it down it buzzed.

 _Be there soon_ she replied. I smiled and set the phone down. I stood and got a new order of coffee that Lucas wrinkled his nose at. I would have taken a long gulp just to gross him out, but it was too hot and I happen to like my taste buds not singed.

"We could send Judy on another horse tour." He winked at me and I tried to suppress the blush burning its way up my face. I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. I didn't know how to respond, but I was saved by the bell that jingled and alerted the shop that Judy was here.

"Lucas!" Judy quickly ran over and pulled up a chair.

"What do you want?" I placed my hands on the chair's arms, ready to push myself up.

"Blueberry muffin."

"Coming right up." I walked up the counter and paid the guy working behind bar. He obviously wasn't a morning person. Kind of ironic that he was working at a coffee shop. When I turned around I noticed Judy and Lucas talking about something, which sent a pang of worry through me, what was worse was that I couldn't hear what they were saying. They were laughing as I got closer.

"What?" I barked, knowing that they were talking about me.

"Nothing." Judy said, snatching the muffin from my hand and taking a bite before I could use it as leverage. I grumbled and sat down. She reached over and drank from my coffee cup that was just the right temperature now. Not scalding, but still hot enough to make your mouth tingle.

"How can you drink that stuff?" Lucas crawled up in his seat like he was trying to get away from it.

"I don't know. It was cheap on the road." Judy shrugged and I nodded. It'd taken me a long time to become accustom to the taste, but it was warm and sometimes nights in the car got a bit cold. Lucas just shook his head in disbelief.

"I used to hate it too," I said.

"What are we gonna do today?" Judy asked around a muffin, quite a bit of it landing in her lap. Lucas smirked and proceeded to talk her into another horse tour, not like she needed much convincing though.

The water hit my face and even though it stung my eyes, it was the best feeling ever. I dug my hands into the surf and watched as I rose with the wave. I felt my adrenaline skyrocket as I pushed myself up till I was standing. I couldn't do any fancy flips, but riding with the current was enough.

I reached out and touched the water, leaving a trail of white bubbles in my wake. Within seconds, the top of the wave began to curl over and I heard a shout from someone, but I was too captivated by the wave to really comprehend it.

In mere moments the wave surrounded me in a flourish of bright blue and aqua green and white streams like ribbons.

I was in the eye and it was probably the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I leaned forward slightly and the board cut through the water faster. The eye was quickly closing and the opening at the end was quickly becoming a sliver of light.

I came into the light, the water hitting my back, and released the breath I'd been holding. I jumped off the board and floated in the water for a few seconds before going back up to the surface. I climbed back up onto my boards and paddled back over to Lucas who had a huge grin on his face.

"Have fun?"

"Oh yeah." I looked out over the ocean and breathed a sigh. I felt fingers run through my hair and violently shake.

"You look like a mop." He smirked and I slapped his hand way.

"Shut up."

Judy was on the shore playing in the sand like a normal kid her age. She was too small to come out this far anyway. In the past few days my skin had turned several shades darker and my freckles stood out more than they very have before. Florida was definitely my new favorite place to be, especially with Lucas right beside me.

I tilted my head back and enjoyed the warm sun on my face. I knew we would be leaving soon, probably tomorrow, and I didn't like it one bit. In fact, I was actually debating on staying here. It was a small beach town, and after we handled the werewolf situation it'd be completely safe. Judy could start school again and we could get something of a normal life.

We could get away from hunting.

I _knew_ Dean didn't want that, and Sam, neither one of them wanted to get us into that life. I knew it wasn't too late for Judy, but I could feel the need to get back to hunting vampires. Maybe if I stayed here with Lucas and Judy that need would fade altogether. That's what I hoped for anyway. I was actually putting together an argument to convince Dean to let us stay.

I didn't really want to leave him or Sam, especially since I'd just met them, but this seemed like the logical, safe solution and that's how I knew Dean would agree.

I wanted to see Lucas one last time before we left. That's why, after Judy had fallen asleep, I snuck out. Lucas said we was working all night at the stables watching the horses. The town was dead quiet, which was strange considering that the streets and beaches were flooded with tourists as soon as the sun was up.

Sam and Dean were out taking care of the nest. I hoped they were ok.

I got to Sea Side Farms and made my way in. It was quiet, too, except for the horses and some noises coming from the loft. A smile struck my face and I raced up the stairs. I turned the corner and stopped. Everything slowed and blurred like a dream, and just like I dream I couldn't figure out when reality stopped and the nightmare began.

There were two forms in the middle of the loft deep in the moon light spilling in through the open doors. I looked at them in mild numbness. My fingers trembled by my side maybe from air loss because I wasn't breathing. There was no sound here in the loft except for the blood glistening in the moon light that seemed to scream and bring a chill that ripped my throat apart.

I worked up his name and it died on my tongue or scorch the back of my throat. My fingers dug into the wood railing as I looked over the two bodies silver and glowing. I couldn't mover, not even to wipe the tears slipping off my cheeks and landing with a soft, horrified splat between my feet.

The body on the floor was almost dead, that much as painfully obvious, but it was far too late to save him. The body over it, however, was almost rabid as it tore through the ribcage with sickening cracks and pops. My stomach lurched and churned in on itself, but I managed to hold down the bile rising in my throat.

"Lucas?"

I manage, louder than I thought possible. He turned, eyes wide, blood running down his chin. His hazel eyes looked black in the dark and heart sill connected to the man's body. I could now recognize him as the man Judy and I had met in the shack of an office a few days ago. His heart clenched sporadically in a last ditch effort to survive till it stopped all together haven finally given up.

My mouth open in a scream, or a gag, probably something stuck in between, but I still wasn't breathing. Dear God, I couldn't even move.

"Ethan?" he gasped, but my eyes were locked on the heart in his hands. The coronary, and the pulmonary, and every other freaking pump and vein and artery, still connected to the man's chest cavity slick with blood.

Panic rose in my chest, but I swallowed in and shoved it as far as my swollen throat would allow.

"Lucas." I managed a little more sternly and even took a step forward.

"Stop!" his voice trembled, "Stop. Don't come any c-closer. Please." He shook harder, but I ignored him, stiffened my li, and took a few more steps forward. They echoed in my ears, getting louder with each step till I realized I'd stopped and the footsteps were coming up the stairs.

"Ethan?" the voice I knew as Sam's asked from somewhere behind me, but I couldn't bring myself to look away from Lucas in front of me on his knees with a heart in his hands. I didn't have time to think about why Dean and Sam were here. How they found me or knew. It hurt so much. The way my heart was being ripped apart.

"Ethan, get back." I heard the distinctive sound of a gun being cocked and sun around, hands out, and acting before my scattered mind could figure out what the hell was going on and wake me up from this nightmare. I looked over my shoulder at Lucas now standing, heart forgotten on the floor next to the rib cage opened like a clam shell, pieces of hay sticking to it. Tears in my eyes I turned to Dean set on what I would do next.

"I'll do it."

"No."

"Give me the fucking gun, Dean." The hot tears slipped over. The pain was nearly unbearable, but I'd never forgive myself if I let one of them do it. I'm a hunter. . . I'd never get away. It was too late.

I felt numb as I took the pistol from Dean's stiff hand, his green eyes hard. He looked considerably older like he'd aged fifty years in a matter of seconds. I wondered what I looked like, eyes blood shot and tears flowing freely. Did I look like the empty body I felt like as my hands closed around the cool metal?

"Ethan. . ." his sentence feel silent, nothing more needed to be said.

I shook my head, "No, I have to." I had to do this.

He looked between me and Lucas several times, each time his features becoming more and more distraught till he turned away covering his mouth.

I turned to Lucas, bathed in moon light, the weight of the pistol becoming like a brick cemented to my hand, but I lifted it anyway. A sob violently broke through my defenses and my hand shook so hard I nearly dropped it. I brought my other hand up, but it barely helped. I tried to breath, but all I managed were sputtered gasps, while my insides were shredded by the emotions wreaking havoc and making scares I wasn't sure would ever heal.

"Please, Ethan, do it." Lucas begged, looking at peace with the barrel pointed at his chest. My mind flashed to the vampire I killed, let me kill her, willingly let me cut her head off. I couldn't handle those. I couldn't tell see anything strait anymore. I hated when the line between people and monsters blurred or disappeared altogether. When they looked at me like I was their salvation. "Please." Tears ran down his cheeks and mixed with the blood on his chin. "I love you."

There was bang, the taste of gun powder, the gun falling to the floor along with two bodies. I crumbled to my knees and scrambled to his body, blood flowing out of the bullet hole. I sob so hard I felt something brake, maybe my soul, but something was shattered in that moment.

I leaned my forehead against his still chest and pulled him to me, so close, and rocked back and forth. I wove a hand through his golden locks silver in the moon light. My other hand furiously trying to wipe the blood from his face, smearing read across my own. My vision blurred with more tears and snot ran out of my nose. It hurt so much. I prayed he would bury his nose in my neck like he always did, but his head lulled back, eyes open, and the beautiful colors I'd been able to pick out, the green, the gold, the beautiful brown. . .were gone.

Someone grabbed me gently, but I tore away and felt the new scream rip out of my chest, but I think it might have died on my tongue because I never heard it.

Lucas's blood soaked through to my chest, staining the grey fabric. I felt my mouth moving like I was saying something, but my ears refused to register any sound. It was like an out of body experience as I cradled Lucas's body in my arms and Sam had a hand on my shoulder trying to get my attention, while Dean stood off to the side, by the gun I'd dropped, and struggled to do something.

I snapped back and I still heard nothing. My throat was now sore and hurt like hell. Everything hurt. All the feeling left my body except for raw pain.

"Ethan." I looked at Sam, but it felt like I was looking through I fogy window when it rains.

I laid Lucas down gently and tried to ignore the blood stain on his chest, straight through the heart, the one I'd caused.

 _Everyone close to us dies,_ Sam had said. Now I understood the full weight of that statement as I stumbled down the stairs, past Maximus, and into the Impala. Dean was right behind me the whole time, if I fell he'd catch me. He'd always be there.

"Take him back to the motel. I'll take care of this." Sam said and looked at me for a second before heading back into the barn. Dean said nothing as we drove and I was thankful for that.

Judy was up. She always had a sense about stuff when things went wrong. But the last thing I wanted her to see was me covered in blood.

"Ethan?" I couldn't look at her. I b-lined for the bathroom and turned the shower on full blast not even bothering to take my clothes off. The pink water swirled at my feet never ending. I wanted to cry some more, maybe I was and just couldn't tell them from the water running over my face.

I tried to tell myself that it had to be done. I couldn't. It'd only been a few days, but I was already hopeful of a future together. Even if he only lasted a couple years or a few months, I was ok with that. But now I'll never know and that's what hurts the most.

"Come on, Ethan, you need to eat." Dean said, pushing his slice of pie towards me. I knew he must have been worried. I also knew I should eat something. It's been three days since we left Florida and the beach and everything having to do with Lucas, and the last time I ate. I was glad Dean got apple instead of cherry, and at least I wasn't gaging at the sight of food anymore, but I still pushed it away.

"I'm not hungry." I muttered. He sighed heavily and pulled the slice of pie back over to him, picked up his fork, but just moved it around till he finally pushed it away.

We were almost to Kansas. Another few hours and we'd be home. _Home._ The thought of my room made me feel a little better, but I couldn't surface those emotions. It was like a faint flicker of a candle in a pitch black room. Maybe it'd be a little easier if I had let Dean handle it, then I wouldn't have to deal with knowing I murdered Lucas.

"How did you know to come to the barn?" it'd been a question burning in my mind the last few days. It seemed odd that they suddenly appeared. I wondered how things would have been different if they hadn't showed up.

I looked up at Dean as he ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes still heavy. What happened the other night affected us all. Judy hadn't said much, Sam was just trying to be as supportive as he could while still giving me space, and Dean, I could tell he was hurting too but for a different reason. I'm not sure what that reason was. Maybe what happened brought up bad memories. Maybe he felt he failed me somehow. I'm not sure.

"One of the guys ran towards the barn. We killed him and that's when we heard screaming. Then we realized it was you, and you know the rest." He made a circular motion with his hand. "I'm sorry, Ethan." He said after a few silent minutes.

"I chose to do it." I said sternly. The pain I was feeling was my fault. I had to deal with that. Not Dean. Not anybody but me.

It looked like he wanted to say something, but decided against it.

The apple pie forgotten, we left. We got back to Kansas. Back home.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'll edit this more later. I just wanted it get it up because I know it's been a while. Sorry, schools hell especially senior year. High school's lovely isn't it? Can't wait for college. Anyway, there is a POV shift to third person in this chapter and might happen periodically from here on out. Also, I've decided this is all taking place in season 11 and I'm also bring back a character or two, Charlie and possible Bobby.**

 **Anyway, please enjoy follow, favorite and review. Again, I'll edit it chapter more later so I'm sorry for any mistakes.**

Blood splattered across my face followed by the thud of a head my machete severed. It felt good. Too good. It was my first hunt in months; since Lucas. I starred at the vacant eyes and open mouth revealing jagged fangs and for a moment saw Lucas's pleading gaze. I felt anger boil in my chest, then my blood, and kicked the head as far as I could which was about ten feet and left my foot hurting. My breath came out short and ragged and in little clouds, but I was hurt more than anything. I blinked away the tears and I fell back against the side of the shed.

That was the last one. I looked around at the bodies lying near and far from me. I sighed and started dragging them into a pile to burn. I had no reason to hurry since Judy wasn't back at the car waiting for me.

I dropped the body I was dragging and rubbed my face. Judy was probably pissed and would never forgive me for leaving her at the bunker. Hunting is a curse I realized. One that I was stuck with, but I think it has something to do with my Winchester blood.

I left about a month ago maybe a little less. In the middle of the night as soon as I found a possible case, but it turned out to be nothing. But after Lucas I just needed to get away.

I picked the body back up and finished dragging it to the pile of his friends. I poured gasoline and threw a couple of lit matches. There was a 'womf' and a burst of flames that sent a haze through the dark night air. I wrinkled my nose at the burnt flesh smell and left for the car.

It didn't take long to walk back to it and I immediately turned on the heater and breathed into my hands to warm them. My phone sitting in the passenger seat caught my eye. I'd turned it off soon after I'd left (or ran away) and hadn't looked at it since, but now my curiosity had gotten the best of me so I turned it back on and unlocked it.

I sucked in a sharp breath as the amount of calls, texts, and voice mails I had. I started with the voice mails. Most of them were from Dean and consisted entirely of " _Where the hell are you!?"_ and " _Ethan, answer me dammit."_ pretty generic. I didn't brother with the texts. I felt a little guilty for worrying him.

I signed and turned it back off and tossed it back into the passenger seat.

I was currently in North Carolina and not far from Willowcreek. A part of me really didn't want to go back, but I wanted to know what ended up happening to mom after we left. Maybe they buried her? Maybe they buried us? I snorted at the thought, but they never did find Judy and I so who knows. They probably all think we're dead.

I made up my mind and head back to the little town I grew up in.

* * *

I drove about ten miles slower than the speed limit as I made my way down Main Street. I was scared someone might recognize me even though it'd been nearly three years. There were lots of people walking around, some I recognized.

I took a left down a gravel road that led to our old house. I parked and got out slowly. It'd had seen better days that was for sure. A couple of windows were broken, the yellow paint was a dingy brown, and the ivy mom had fought every year had more than taken over the right side. It hardly looked like what I remembered.

All it took was a hard shove with my shoulder to get the front door open. The furniture was covered in a thick layer of dust and many beer cans littered the house. Probably where the broken windows came from along with the graffiti.

The lamp was still laying on its side and there were still bloodstains in the kitchen. After a few moments I headed up the stairs to my room and was a little relieve to find it still somewhat intact. It could have been my imagination, but my bed looked a little ruffled. I couldn't fathom someone actually wanting to have sex in a murder mystery house, but it had been a while since I'd been in high school. I went to Judy's room next. Her stuffed animals still looked intact. I smiled at the white walls and hot pink bows pained on. I sat in her windowsill for a while and tried to imagine things back to normal. I couldn't bring myself to go to mom's room. It was hard enough seeing the blood stains in the kitchen.

* * *

It was Saturday and it left like the whole damn town was walking around me, which was a very high possibility. Willowcreek wasn't very big; 2000 people at the most. A group of girls I remembered passed by without a glance towards me. I pulled my coat collar up a little higher as they passed. I headed to the town library thinking that was the only place with computers and I was right.

It took me about ten minutes to find out where my mother was buried.

I stared at the article for a long time. Seeing the words and not. I couldn't explain the emotions I was feeling, hell I wasn't even sure I was feeling anything at all. I was happy to know they really did bury her, but I wondered who showed up or if only a preacher and the grave diggers came to do their jobs.

I closed the window and left. On the way out I passed two girls laughing at something till they saw me and edge away like I was road kill. I glared and pushed passed them.

There was only one cemetery in Willowcreek. I'd been there once before for some friend of mom's who had died when I was six. Once you got to the center, every direction you looked there were headstones some so old the engravings couldn't be deciphered anymore. Just gray rocks sinking further into the ground. I used to think that was how mountains were formed. One headstone after another till you had a whole mountain.

I wondered what people I was stepping over. Did anyone come to their funeral? Will anyone come to mine? Will I just be killed by a monster and left as a John Doe? Will Judy die before me? Will I die protecting her? What will happen to Sam and Dean? Will they just shrug our deaths off like all the others? Is that what they do? God, I wish I knew the answers to these questions.

I didn't bother with the tears that spilled over as I read _Angela Grey Mother and Friend Left This World September 26, 2014_

I sat on my knees and traced the stone angel standing over my mother's grave with her face tilled upwards. I tried to swallow the stiffness in my throat, but it caught in a sob. I rested my head against the cold stone. My chest ached and more tears slipped off my cheeks darkening the stone in plops.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I bit my lip not sure why I was trying to keep it together. I adjusted so that I sat criss-cross-applesause like a child and tucked my head under the angel's wings. "I found dad." I started but wasn't sure how to continue, "I've done some bad things. I've tried to give Judy the best. I'm sorry." So badly I wanted her to wrap he arms around me and tell me it would be alright, but they air remained still and the angel cold as stone.

* * *

"Ethan? Ethan Grey?" I snapped my head around so fast I'm surprised I didn't have whiplash. I almost ran. It'd become an instinct after years of dealing with Drew, but I held my ground.

He stood about ten feet away, his blue eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. I didn't say anything for a few minutes, not quite sure how I should respond.

"It's been awhile," I shrugged looking away.

"Dude, we thought you were dead." He breathed like he couldn't believe I was really standing in front of him, but the feeling was mutual.

"I'm not." I turned to him and shoved my hands into my pockets. He still had that scar on his eyebrow that left the hair to grow in white. He'd filled out and shot up several inches, too.

"Um, where did you go?" he shifted his weight from foot to foot and stood stiffly.

"Where ever I wanted to."

"But why—Where did—How—?"

I shrugged, "It felt right at the time. I was scared they'd separate Judy and I."

"What the hell happened that night, Ethan?"

I rose an eyebrow. It was strange hearing my actual name come out of his mouth. "I thought you'd be the last person to care." It was a bit colder than I originally meant, but I think it needed to be said. Drew visibly flinched and reached up to rub the nape of his neck.

"Look man, I'm really sorry about all that. I did some pretty unforgivable shit to you. I-I wish I could take it back. Um." He trailed off and look at his shoes. "I—um, we all thought you and Judy were dead. They uh said you're house was a massacre." His eyes widened, "Shit, I didn't mean. I—"

"It's alright." I cut him off. I rubbed the scar on my palm, remembering that night. "It was a massacre." Drew took a few steps towards me.

"What happened?" he almost seemed awkward like he wasn't used to his bulky build and height.

"Vampire." I said plainly. I expected him to laugh and call me an idiot or a looney, but he didn't say a thing so I continued. "Somehow it got it and attacked my mom. It then attacked me and I cut off its head. That's the only way to kill them." I said matter-of-factly.

"You're serious?" I nodded, "Holy shit! No wonder you ran, that's crazy." This was definitely not the same Drew I remembered. "Why-Why didn't you ever come back? Until now I mean."

"I didn't want to face it, I guess." I looked towards the cemetery and the markers sticking up like boney knuckles. "I just came to see mom." I turned to leave.

"Wait," I looked back at this different Drew and tried to figure out what changed about him. "I'm sorry I was such an ass to you when we were kids." It'd only been two years since we were "kids" but it felt like a whole life time had passed. "Come back to Willowcreek, Ethan. It's not much, but—" he shrugged, "you're mom's still here. That's something right?" I felt like he was trying to say something between his worlds, but I wasn't sure what it was.

"I knew the whole time, Ethan, or I figured anyway. I just didn't know how to handle it. I'm sorry." I felt a faint blush burn across my cheeks and I looked away immediately and into my inky reflection in the shop window. "Can we start over? As friends?" he almost looked like a hopeful puppy.

I frowned a little, "You're different. Not a bad different, but what happened?"

He looked away. "After you and Judy disappeared, one of my ex-friends spilled on the train incident," he paused to look at me, but I kept my face as indifferent as possible. "Basically, my dad found out and shipped me off to Military School the next dad. Man, I hated him at the time, but it's the best think he ever did for me."

We stood in silence for several moments. I wasn't sure what to say. I felt like a stranger in Willowcreek. Everything—everyone—felt different and I felt out of place. Maybe they were all the same and I was the one who had changed. The old Ethan would have started running at the first sound of Drew's voice, but I turned around and faced him. No, I didn't belong here. Not anymore.

"Yeah, maybe we can start over." I scuffed my show against the concrete.

"I'll see you around, Ethan?" I nodded. He started to walk away. "You know we never buried you and your sister. It's nice to know you're still alive." With that he left and turned the corner.

I wondered if I'd ever see Drew again and I'd ever come back to Willowcreek. I took one last look at the cemetery and mouth a goodbye to mom before I head to my car hidden in an alley.

* * *

I was fifty miles outside of my hometown with the accelerator floored and all the windows down even though it was chilly. It felt good and freeing. I missed Lucas. I missed mom. A part of me missed my old life. There were so many things I wanted to get back. I missed Judy in the backseat. Everything felt off balance and I was on the edge.

There was a glimmer of light as I passed through an intersection. I felt glass cut into my cheek and a scream escape my mouth as the car flipped and I looked at asphalt though the sunroof. The seatbelt cut into my chest. The sound of metal crinkling like wrapping paper and then everything went quiet.

My arms hung over my head, my legs were crapped under the dash, and something trickled down my forehead, but that's all I remembered before I blacked out.

* * *

Dean stood in front of a half made sandwich, his face etched with thoughts about his missing kid. He ran a hand through his dirty blonde locks and pulled out his phone scrolling till he found the right name and hit call.

It rang three times before a female voice said, "Hello?"

"Charlie, I need your help," more rushed and worried than he had meant.

"With what?" Charlie was tense at the sound of Dean voice. The tone set her on edge and she knew immediately that something was wrong. Very wrong. She just hoped the world wasn't ending again.

"It'd be easier if you could just come to the bunker. When's the soonest you can be here?" Dean was silently hoping it was tonight or sooner. Ethan had been missing for a month now and no leads on his location.

"I'm in Montana, so a day or two at the least." She said a little sorry.

"Can you get a plane or something?" Dean asked irritably.

"Dean what's going on?" Charlie tried to keep her voice level and calm but Dean's frantic attitude was rubbing off on her.

The eldest Winchester took a deep breath before starting, "I've got a kid and some crazy shit happened and he ran away and we can't find him and I'm afraid he did something stupid because I would do something stupid and I need your help finding him because it's been a month and he's gone and I'm scared he might be dead because he's a hunter and that's a very likely possibility and I need your help Charlie." Dean was breathless at the end, but it explained everything for the time being.

Charlie was silent on the other end of the line for several moments while she processed everything Dean had just spewed out. "I'll be there as soon as I can, Dean." And hung up leaving Dean with his forgotten half made sandwich and all the worry Ethan had left him with when Dean woke up to find him gone.

Dean looked back down at the half spread peanut butter and jelly jar. He finished the sandwich and headed up to Judy's room. He knocked on the door before entering. The room was dark, but he could make out her form on her bed from the light spilling in from the hallway.

"Judy. Hey, you uh hungry? It's your favorite." He held the plate up like she could see it better with her back towards him and the lights off.

"I'm not hungry," came her quiet reply.

"Come on Judy. You haven't eaten all day." Or yesterday for that matter, or the day before that. He groaned when she didn't reply and decided it was best to just set the food on her nightstand. At least she could eat it later if she wanted.

He shut the door and as soon as he did Judy broke down in tears. The anger she had felt towards Ethan had dissipated after a few days, now she was just terrified. She could hardly remember her life before That Night; with mom. She couldn't remember her mother's face when she was alive. No matter how long she studied the face in the picture Ethan had it just wouldn't connect.

As far as she was concerned, she didn't really have a mother. It was always Ethan. Ethan was all she had and now he was gone and she wasn't sure he'd come back. Judy curled in on herself trying to hide her sobs so Dean or Sam wouldn't hear her. It hurt knowing Ethan left her, but it hurt more knowing he might never come back.

"He's all I have. Don't take him away." A great pain shook her ribs as she contained a sob. "Please don't take him away."

Dean pushed away from the door and wipe away a tear. "Ethan, where the hell are you." He muttered.

The loud banging that woke Dean up the next morning wasn't welcomed whatsoever until he saw his favorite redhead standing in the threshold. "Charlie?" he squinted at the early morning light. "I thought you wouldn't be here for a few days." He step aside to let her in. The racket had woken Sam and even roused Judy out of her room for the first time in a week.

"Oh, hello." The red head waved to Judy when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Judy barely lifted her hand in a finger wave. She turned back to Dean, "I caught a plane. We have work to do?" she wanted to get right to it and out of this thick air as soon as possible.

Dean nodded and led her to the study where she began to set up her equipment. "Now," she started with her fingers poised over the keyboard, "how about story time?"

Dean took a seat across from Charlie and laced his fingers together. "I had this fling with this girl when I was on a hunt. It lasted about a week, maybe. I don't even remember her honestly." He cleared his throat still feeling a little guilty about that. "She got pregnant and had Ethan. I never knew, obviously." He huffed out a stiff laugh, "Until a few months ago when I ran into Ethan on a hunt."

"What's his full name?" she already had Ethan typed.

"Ethan Winchester Grey." He waited a few minutes while Charlie did her thing. "He's 17. I think he has a birthday coming up soon. Uh, he looks like me." He waited for some sort of response. Preferably that she had found something.

"Continue." She gave a quick hand motion before returning to typing.

"A vampire attacked and killed their mom. Ethan went down to investigate after Judy told him something was downstairs. He had to fight the thing and kill it. It's a miracle he survived." Ethan had told him in graphic detail what exactly happened that night and it sent shivers down his spine.

Charlie stopped typing and looked up with wide eyes, "What?" she stammered. "Ya know what, don't answer that. What else is going on? There's always more with you two." She muttered the last part but Dean still heard.

"We've been hunting the Darkness, but so far no leads on that either." Charlie raise an eyebrow. "God has a sister."

"God?"

"Yeah, and he has family issues. He locked Amara—the darkness—away with the Mark of Cain. When Sam and I got the mark off of me, we released her."

"And now the worlds at stake." Charlie said dryly.

"Oh yeah."

"Holy shit." Charlie fell back in her chair. This was a lot to taken, so she decided to just focus on Ethan. It was thirty minutes of intense silence before she got something. "I think I might have found something, but if it's him it's not good."

"Why? What do you mean?"

"John Doe was involved in a high speed accident on a nearby highway with another car. Patient is in a comma due to head injuries. Patient is male, blonde hair, green eyes, approximately 17—"

"That has to be him. Let's go."

"Wait, Dean." They both stood quickly. "It might not be him. Maybe I should go alone."

"I think she's right Dean," Sam said as he walked in on their conversation. "Besides, we still need to focus on Amara or finding Ethan won't matter."

"Fine. Just get back as soon as you can." He agreed after a few moments of debate. For good measure he sent a pointed look at the red head.

"You found Ethan?" Judy spoke up allowing hope to spill into her young voice. Charlie bent over on her knees so that she was more eye level with the 9 year old.

"We hope so."

"Can I come?" she asked, but looked up at Sam and then Dean.

"Yeah, yeah, actually that would probably be better than you staying here." Sam replied. Judy nodded and ran to her room to pack a bag.

* * *

Charlie moved quickly through the halls looking for room 3140 where she severely hoped Ethan would be. Her fingers shook with worry and anticipation. The receptionist had said that the boy had already been claimed by child services after he woke up from his comma a few day's ago. If that was the case, Charlie would have to get creative with a plan to get Ethan out of here. If it was infact him.

She and Judy entered the room and Judy started to cry at the sight of her bandaged wrapped brother.

"Ethan?" she walked up to the bed and tenderly touched her brother. There was a slight movement causing Charlie to sigh with relief.

"You're sure it's him?"

"I know my own brother." Judy sent her a frosty look.

"Right, sorry." Charlie quickly apologized.

"Ethan? Ethan, wake up." Judy shook her brother's arm a bit. "We need to go." She said a little more franticly. We she heard the words "child services" she knew that meant trouble. She knew that was one of the reasons Ethan had taken her and ran after what happened That Night.

Charlie kept looking around to make sure there were no nurses around since they weren't given clearance to see Ethan. So far so good.

Ethan stirred and opened his eye that wasn't swollen and looked at his little sister. He was confused at first thinking it might be a dream, but quickly realized it was really his curly haired little sister. "Judy?"

"Ethan!" she jumped on the bed and wrapped her arms around him. He groaned in pain but didn't say anything.

"How are you—" he then noticed the young red head woman in doorway. "Who are you?"

"My names Charlie. I'm a friend of your fathers." Charlie was getting antsier as time went on. She knew a nurse would soon be making their rounds and they would be caught. "Can you walk?"

"Why? What's going on?" he realized he was in a hospital, but couldn't remember when he got there.

"You've been in a comma for about a week because you were in a car wreck. You woke up sometime yesterday." Charlie again looked over her shoulder. "We have a problem. You were claimed by child services, so we're going to have to brake you out."

Ethan stiffened and immediately tried to get up, but a shooting pain stopped him. "Fuck." He cursed and gripped him thigh as his eyes watered. Judy's eyes bulged at the curse word and covered her ears on reflex. Ethan cursing meant something was wrong. He looked down at his thigh and placed a hand on the starch white bandage, but he didn't get that chance to see the damage underneath.

"Hey, you can't be here." A tall African American said crossing her arms and shoot daggers at Charlie. "Get out." Charlie raised her hands in surrender and grabbed Judy's hand who started to fight her grip. There were two more women with the nurse, who Charlie could only assume were child services that entered the room with nurse.

"Shit."

"We can't leave him!"

Charlie turned and slapped a hand on Judy's mouth.

"We're not going to leave him, but we can't just walk out with him."

Judy slumped knowing the older woman was right.

"Then what are we going to do?" her bright blue eyes watered.

"I have an idea." Charlie smiled knowing it would work. It had to.

* * *

I had been trying to convince the child service women that I wasn't Ethan Grey who went missing three years ago and that I was Alan Montgomery who was 16 and took his dads car for a joyride gone wrong. I was trying to stall in order to give this Charlie time to execute a plan I really hoped she had. One of the women held up a picture that I recognized as my school ID.

"That's not me!" I decided if I started yelling and getting annoyed they might start believing me. The woman huffed and looked like she was about to start saying something when the fire alarms started going off and soon the sprinklers. The nurse ran out of the room and came back with a wheelchair. She quickly moved me into it and started going down the hallway.

There was screaming from down the hall and the nurse went to go investigate instructing the service women to get out of the building, but before they could someone grabbed my chair and started running with me forcing me back in the seat.

"What the—" I looked up and saw Charlie and Judy running beside her.

"Come on." She grabbed my sister's hand and started pulling her along.

"Holy shit," I muttered and held onto the arms of the chair. I looked behind up and saw the service woman chasing after us. "What the hell did you do?"

"Pulled the fire alarm." She called over the alarms blaring.

Well, at least she didn't set an actual fire.

We ran though the automatic doors and to a shabby looking car. I struggled into the backseat, ignoring the pain from my leg and shut the door. The service women were running towards us while trying to get help, but in the chaos of evacuating all the patients no one listened.

Charlie hit the gas and we sped out of the parkinglot. Judy was in the front seat and putting on her seat belt while still looking behind us. I decided I like Charlie. "Holy crap, we did it!" she high-fived my sister.

"Did you like my screaming? Charlie recorded it on her phone." She grinned.

"Yeah, it was great. Thanks."

"No problem," Charlie said breathlessly. "That was exciting. We'll have a story to tell when we get home, won't we?"

I could only nod in agreement.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the crazy long wait. Hope you like it. XOX**

I was always more sentimental than I liked to be. I had trouble little certain things go. Judy was more than just a sister to me. She was the only way to still be close to my mother. I guess that's why I never did what was best for her. I never realized it till now, though, just how selfish I had been. I should have let her go, got her into school, and gave her a chance at a normal life, but I didn't. I could have given her a better like, but I chose to keep her with me. Then again, who wants to be alone?

It was just Judy and I after mom was killed, so I guess I was scared of losing her, too. But, I never realized just how important she was to me until the moment I was about to lose her and there was nothing I could do. I knew this would was ugly. It was black and white for the longest time. Good and bad. But now I'm teetering on the edge of what I think is good and everything is grey.

"You do as I say and I let her live. Everybody's happy." Cas smiled, but it wasn't him. Not in a million years did I think I'd ever be making a deal with the Devil.

I pulled on a new jacket and tested its fit over my new clothes. Outside was chilly and the hospital gown was nothing to hold out the bitter wind.

"It looks nice on you."

I looked over my shoulder at Charlie, the red head who saved me, and smiled.

"Yeah, I like it." I shrugged it off and limped with her over to the check out. "Thanks," I said as we walked out of the store with Judy behind us skipping happily.

"No problem," she smiled.

I could tell she wanted to ask questions by the way her mouth would open and snap shut like she couldn't figure out what to say. But I'm glad she didn't ask them because even I couldn't understand why I did the things I did. At least not yet. I was just trying to figure out how I would face Dean. I knew he was pissed or at least frustrated.

I took the passenger seat while Judy climbed in the back and Charlie sat down to drive. We were in Kentucky at the moment and our first stop in hours. I zipped my new jacket up and relaxed into the worn leather seats messaging my injured leg.

"Hey, Ethan?" Charlie asked softly since Judy had fallen asleep.

"Yeah?" I mumbled, struggling to stay awake.

"Dean told me about what happened in Florida." She glanced at me and in that split second, I saw a deep empathy in her dark blue eyes, but I wondered if she could really understand.

I had to look away. I'd been trying to convince myself that it had never happen. A defense mechanism of some sort. It probably wasn't healthy, but it helped until I was ready to accept and deal with what had happened.

"I'm really sorry. I can't believe you had to go through that," she continued.

"I've been through worse." I'd meant that as some sort of comfort even if it wasn't really true, but the look she gave me was the look of someone who had just had their heart broke. Now that I thought about it, that was entirely the wrong thing to say. "I'll be ok, just not today. Pain passes, right?"

Maybe it would, but I'd never stop hearing Lucas asking me to kill him and me pulling the trigger.

When we pulled up to the bunker Sam and Dean weren't there.

The sun was out, the breeze was oddly warm, it was a beautiful day in Kansas and yet nothing felt real. Judy and I walked into the deserted bunker, Charlie following behind chattering on about everyday things, but it sounded forces like she was just trying to fill a space.

I looked at Judy who had a tired smile as she looked around and with dread I realized she thought of this place as home. A part of her wishes we had never net Dean or Sam then maybe I wouldn't have this increasing worry. It'd still be just the two of us killing vampires.

"Where's Sam and Dean?" I questioned seeing half drank beers sitting on the table.

Charlie cut off mid-sentence probably realizing that I wasn't listening to what she was saying. "They're on a hunt," she said timidly what a glance to Judy.

"They're probably after Amara." My sister scoffed with an eye roll.

"Who the heck is Amara?"

Judy looked at me with a frosty glare that said more than words could ever say. I still hadn't apologized for leaving her.

"Amara is God's sister and she's a little off her wagon and kills people to try and get God's attention. She's the Darkness and steals souls or something and I'm pretty sure Dean has a thing for her because of the Mark. It's really a long story, but I'm pretty sure that's where they are." She crossed her arm over her chest looking rather proud of herself.

I was still trying to process that when Charlie spoke up, "Actually. . .they're in Hell. Trying to make a deal with Lucifer."

"Hell? What the heck happened while I was gone!?" I couldn't believe this. First Cas now God has a sister, Hell's a thing, and Lucifer. . .I can't take all this.

"A lot," Judy said, leveling at me.

We waited for Sam and Dean to get home, which turned out to be a few hours later, and when they did I forgot everything I was going to say. All the apologies I had been planning since I left, all the excuses for not picking up the phone, all the reason I had for not coming back on my own, all disappeared when they walked through the door looking broken and bruised.

Like they had been through Hell.

Dean met my eyes and visibly relaxed if only slightly. Then I realized Cas wasn't with them.

"Where's Cas?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to know.

"We lost him. I-I don't know where he is." Dean admitted solemnly.

Again, I lost my words but only for a moment.

"Did you really go to Hell?" It slipped out before I could stop it. Sam nodded but said nothing.

They walked passed me into the kitchen. I could hear beer cans being popped open in the kitchen. It wasn't exactly the reunion I'd been expecting.

"Hey, Judy, let's get out of here for a while. Just you and me." I tried to smile and shake off the thick air, though it was hard, she returned the gesture and took my hand. I looked at Charlie as we were leaving, but she had her tablet open and her nose in a nasty looking book Sam had given her.

We found a spot outside and sat there. It was still cool and the breeze rustled the leaves and gently swayed our hair.

"Where do you think Cas it?" Judy asked after several minutes of silence.

I shrugged, "Who knows."

"He wouldn't just leave them in the middle of a fight." Her brows knitted and a few curls curled around her face before she pushed them behind her ear. "Would he? He's an angel, he's a good guy, right?" she rested her head in her thin hands with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, he's a good guy." I managed to say, but I didn't really believe it. For Judy's sake, I said, "Maybe he just got blasted somewhere and doesn't have enough juice to get back."

We fell into another silence. Judy brushed another curl out of her face with her blue eyes down cast and, for a second I let myself believe mom was in front of me, alive and well. But only for a second. I watched her reach into her pocked and pull out a crumpled newspaper article.

"It's a nest. About 3 hours away," she said, looking at the article for a moment before handing it to me.

"How do Sam and Dean miss this?"

She took the paper from me, "they didn't. It was sitting on the table. I mean, they're busy. Don't you think we should take them out?" her blue gaze turned to me, hopeful and pleading.

"We?" I quirked a brow at her.

"Oh, come on! I've saved you like twice now. I've killed vamps. I want to help," she whined.

"No," I whined back childishly. She might have been right, but she was tiny and weak. My little sister won't be hunting any time soon, if ever, it I can help it.

"We're still going, right?'

"Yes."

"Good."

We found ourselves in a small town called St. Mary two and a half hours later with plenty of daylight left. Judy handed me a map of the area and explained that the three red dots were people who have gone missing and were never found, while the one black dot was the dead man the paper reported on. It was Judy's guess that the nest was at a small farm. I had a feeling she was right.

Everyone gets sloppy occasionally. Vampires included and that's where I come in.

"I'll head over there in a minute. You're staying with the car."

She looked about ready to argue when my phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

" _Where the hell are you? Don't tell me you're on that vampire case?"_

I cracked a smirk at that, "Wow, Dean, you're getting good. Don't worry, we'll be back by morning. I promise." No more running.

" _No, you and Judy are coming home now."_

"That's kinda pointless since we're already here. Look, Dean, I can handle it. Everything's fine. You and Sam need to rest up are whatever you just went through."

" _If you're not home by noon tomorrow, you're in deep shit, Kid."_ and he hung up.

"We really shouldn't have left so soon after getting back," I mused, feeling a little guilty.

"Too late now."

No more running after this, but for now it's all we can do.

I was hoping this would be an easy run, but from the looks of it this would be one of my tougher jobs. It was a large nest. At least 15 maybe more. Right now they're sleeping, or I at least hoped they were. It was still daylight after all and vamps tended to be nocturnal.

I snuck over to the window, careful to watch my back and peeked in. I was right. They all seemed to be asleep. I ducked away as a figure passed by. After a few seconds, I peeked in again. A man, dark hair , shirtless, and brushing his teeth like he was a normal guy who'd just rolled out of bed. Since he was up first, I figured he must be the leader.

I circled the house looking for an indiscrete way in. Normally I'd have a week to plan and figure this out, but I was on a time crunch thanks to a certain absent-no-longer-absent father. Despite all that I found a side door unlocked and snuck in. It led to a kitchen of sorts with one other door off to the side. Oddly enough, the kitchen looked relatively unused with most of the counter tops and appliances covered in a thick layer of dust. Except for the fridge, though still dusty, it's handle was covered in dry, crusty blood. I knew then that this was the right place. But I opened it, curiosity getting the better of me, and immediately wished I hadn't. I gagged at the intense smog of rot that invaded my lungs and the jars of blood inside. I shut it as quickly as I could while still trying to be quiet, but really, I wanted to slam it. I wanted to set this whole place on fire and hear them scream.

I heard footsteps approaching and pressed myself against the rough grain of the wood panels lining the walls. I realized there might be an echo, so I'd have to work quickly. I breathed slow, trying to trying to ignore the musty sent lingering in the air thanks to the refrigerator. The footsteps neared till I knew they were right at the threshold.

My eyes met his dull brown and his lips came apart to say something just as my machete met his neck. My blade slid through with little resistance, having found that sweet spot between the vertebrae after many hunts.

I caught the body before it hit the ground and could possibly alert the others of something wrong. His head hung on by a thread of skin. I took the head by the hair and severed it completely. As I dragged this body to a far corner, blood smeared across my shirt.

I moved on to the main room I had looked into from the window, happy to find them all still asleep, or most of them anyway. Two more beds were empty which unnerved me a bit. I decided to focus on killing the ones that were here.

I moved quickly, chopping one head after another. It was therapeutic. Something to throw my anger and frustration into. I didn't bother with the fact that I had tears streaming down my face or that I was trembling. All I saw were monsters. Monsters that needed to be killed.

I got to the last one wiping my hands, slick with blood on my jeans, and gripped the rough leather of my blades handle. I grabbed the head of a young woman, not caring if she woke up, and brought the machete down on her slender neck. But before I could get it all the way through, I was yanked back and thrown over a table.

I groaned as the splintered wood bit into my back. I sat up and looked the creature in the eye. Tall and muscular. He'd be a challenge.

"Who the hell are you?" his gruff voice trembled slightly. He was probably distraught over finding his family dead. Poor thing.

"Ethan," I answered dully, standing up.

"Are you a hunter?"

I looked behind me to make sure nobody was trying to sneak up on me. I looked back at the man. Now he was glancing around. Maybe I'd given him the impression that I wasn't alone.

"Yeah." I picked up my machete, "So you know what happens then?" I cocked my head to the side, resting my machete on my shoulder, eyeing him cautiously.

Finally the bastard got angry and shifted. His fangs extended and his eyes turned a ghastly red color. I crouched, bladed in front of me only a bed between us. The man launched himself forward. I rolled out of the way but just barely. He fell onto the splintered table I'd smashed and cursed at the shards of wood spearing his hand. He turned his crimson gaze to me and snarled. Like an animal.

I looked over to the woman I was interrupted in killing. She was healing. Which meant I had limited time. Plus there was still a couple missing.

I attacked him thinking it might throw him off and it did. He swung but missed and stumbled past me. Which gave me the chance to kill him. His head his the ground and hardly rolled. I stepped over his carcass and finished off the girl. Her airway hadn't healed completely and her jugular was still severed. She was still incapacitated which made her eady to kill.

"Who are you?"

I stiffened and turned around. A girl stood behind me by the make I'd just killed. We were both silent for several moments the only sound coming for the blood dripping off my bland onto the ancient green carpet.

"Ethan," I answered her, gripping my machete tighter. The girl was a red hear with blue streaks running through her mane, and it draped over her freckled skin like a curtain. Her eyes were a striking green, vicious and fearful somehow at the same time.

She slowly came around the bed between us, eyeing me up and down.

"I've heard of you." Her voice throaty and emotional as she sat on the bed. "You killed our brothers and sisters in Georgia a month or so ago, didn't you?"

I didn't answer her even though it was true. I was trying to figure out what her game was.

"Fine," she muttered just loud enough for me to hear.

"What?"

"Fine! Kill me. I don't care!" she covered her mouth as tears came to her eyes. "I tried to drink animal blood, but it'd disgusting. I can't. . .live like this." She bowed her head, her red hair falling forward with her.

"I was already planning on it." I took a step forward cautiously know full well it could be a trap. She didn't move. Not till I severed her head and her body fell forward.

This house no reeked of death and decay more than it did earlier. After a quick head count—make sure all the beds were filled—I set the house on fire. The acreage was sparse enough that didn't worry about any of the land catching on fire.

I took my jacket and t-shirt off as I walked back to the car. Judy was sitting on the roof, blowing bubble gum bubbled even as she saw me.

"Took you long enough," she teased, blowing another dull pink bubble.

"Big nest," I groaned, already feeling the stiffness in my arms

She cocked her head to the side, "Did you get them all?"

"Pretty sure," I sighed feeling exhausted.

"Pretty sure?"

"Well, it's not like I had time to stalk the place like usual. But there were beds and nobody was missing so, yes, I'm pretty sure."

"And if you didn't get all of them?" she leaned forward, resting on her knees, her blue eyes boring into mine.

"We come back," I opened the door to the car, "and I finish the job." I gestured with my arm for her to get in.

Judy hopped off the hood, pointedly popping a bubble in my direction before getting in on the passenger side.

We drove in silence, passing cars on the highway and eventually turning onto a dirt road that led to what was slowly becoming home. It was around midnight now, but I knew Sam and Dean would be up. What I really needed was a shower. The blood was dry and crusty on my pants now and left me feeling grimy. Judy leaned against me despite this as we waited for the bunker door to be opened.

Dean was on the other side looking both surprised and relieved to see us. It was strange. You know, to have someone there waiting for us again.

"Wasn't expecting you two till tomorrow." He took a bite of a delicious looking burger in his hand and stepping aside to let us in.

"Caught them while they were still sleeping. Only three were awake and only one was able to put up a fight." I rolled my shoulders trying to relieve the tension. We ended up in the kitchen where Charlie and Sam were surrounded by books.

"Hey, guys," Charlie smiled upon seeing us. "How'd the hunt go?"

"Better that yours is going. I'm sure." From what I could tell and from what Judy had told me, their hunt for Amara wasn't going well. Not to mention they just lost Cas and I should take some responsibility for running away just before all this shit went down.

"Hungry?" Dean smiled looking rather proud of his burgers. My mouth clamped down on one before I could say yes.

I was sleeping soundly in my wonderful bed. A real bed. Not a crappy one at a motel, but at my home. My own room, my own sheets, my own everything. I actually felt safe. I'd always been a light sleeper, thought, so I heard my door get pushed open gently.

I cracked an eye open at the light streaming in from the hallway. I could hear Dean laughing loudy from downstairs. I thought it was Judy at first, but the shadow was too tall.

"Ethan? Are you awake?"

I squinted at the figure, "Cas? Why are you here?"

"I wanted to show you something." He turned and motioned for me to follow him.

I couldn't pin point it but something felt off. He'd ben back for a few weeks now and lately he'd been acting differently. Still I followed him because I was curious about what he wanted to show me.

"Here we are."

"This is Judy's room." I felt a tingle of panic thinking something might be wrong. He opened the door and ushered me inside

It was completely dark once he shut the door. I couldn't see my hand if I'd put it right in front of my face.

"Now, the fun part begins," Cas whispered in my ear sending a frigid chill down my spine. He flipped the lights on and that's when I knew something was horribly wrong. I tried to scream for Dean, but Cas slapped a hand over my mouth before I could. "Shh, shh,shh,shh, wouldn't want to spoil the fun, now would we? Now, be a good boy and sit down."

He threw me against the wall. When I tried to stand I couldn't. I couldn't move at all. "Dammit!" I screamed as I pull against whatever force was holding me down.

"Scream all you want, kiddo, but daddy Dean won't hear you." Cas chuckled and turned to Judy who was tied to a chair. That's when I realized that that wasn't Cas.

"Who are you?" I seethed. I'd never felt so helpless.

"Isn't that the million-dollar question." He spun around, his eyes glowing red. I pressed myself into the wall.

"Lucifer," I stammered, unable to believe what was happeneing.

"Ethan, it's good to finally get to meet you. You know, you've got some big shoes to fill. I mean you are the son of Dean Freaking Winchester. But if you ask me," he came around behind the chair Judy was tied to and picked something up, "you fall shot of the Winchester name. Which is while you're going to do exactly everything I say or I'll rip your precious sisters skin off and make you watch, understand." He pressed the blade he'd picked up to Judy's neck tears streaming down her face.

So I did the only thing I could. I said, "Yes."

 **Please drop a review. I know it's been a while, but I'd love some feed back. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey, Dean?" I fidgeted, praying that Lucifer wasn't watching. But who was I kidding. He was always watching.

"Ethan?"

I froze and slowly turned around. Judy was standing there, a thin red line across her neck. You might think it was thread.

"Ethan, I thought you were going to protect me?" tears welled in her eyes.

I pulled her into my arms, hugging her tightly to my chest. "I am, I'm trying. I'm-" a sob broke out.

She pulled away just enough to look me in the eye, "Then why were you going to tell Dean? You know what Lucifer will do to me if you do?"

"Ethan?"

I was like I snapped back into place and met Dean's eyes. My breath shuttered in my chest. I wanted to tell him because I knew he could help me, but I couldn't for Judy's sake.

"Ha-Have you found Amara yet?" I struggled to keep my voice steady.

"We think we know how to lure her in."

"And Lucifer?"

"Haven't found him yet, kiddo." I couldn't help but let my head drop I felt like a part of me was dead inside. "Hey, we'll find her, I promise." I looked him in the eye truly wanting to believe him, but he was just a man fighting God's sister and an Archangel. There had to be limits to everything including Dean Winchester.

I nodded numbly and walked away. Sometimes I wish we'd never ran into them. I closed the door to my room and my knees buckled. I didn't even try to fight the sobs. I wanted to scream till my throat was raw, but instead I covered my mouth with my hand as tears ran rampant down my cheeks.

"Ethan, my boy! Got any news for me?"

I looked over to Lucifer, still in Cas's vessel, sitting on a chair backwards and grinning.

I took a deep breath to steady myself before beginning. "They have a plan to lure in Amara at some warehouse and they're looking for you. They think that you plus a hand of God could kill her." I kept praying that it would be enough to get my sister back.

"And how do they plan to find me, Ethan?"

"I don't know, he didn't tell me."

"Isn't that your job? To find out? Or should I remind you of what's at stake?" he snapped his fingers and Judy appeared on the ground beside him bloody and bruise.

"NO! No, NO, no, I-I'll find out, I promise! Just don't hurt her!" he picked her up by her hair and she winced. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I sobbed unable to move to help her. "Let her go! Please! I'll do better I promise!"

He looked me dead in the eye emotionless, his irises flaming red, and took hold of her chin. I screamed and begged and pleaded, but he remained unfazed.

Judy was looking at me too weak to cry out but tears in her blue eyes and split second later her head spun around.

"NO!" I screamed as he dropped her body and stepping over it. I pressed myself closer to the door as he came closer trembling harder than I ever had in my life. The devil took hold of my cheeks, forcing me to look him in the eye.

"I never what to hear 'I don't know' again. You find out. You worm your way in by any means necessary. Do you understand!?"

"Ye—I understand!" I sobbed, barely able to speak with how hard he was holding my face.

"Don't let it happen again, Ethan." He hissed before disappearing leaving me alone in my room leaned against the door with my hand covering my mouth like I'd never moved.

"Ethan?"

I screamed because for a slit second I thought he was back. I cowered on the ground mumbling "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Over and over again even after I realized it was just Dean. I didn't move even as he forced the door open and tried to get me to look at him.

"Ethan, Ethan, what's wrong?" he pulled my hands away from my head. "Ethan, look at me."

"No," I shook my head. I could have been another one of Lucifer's tricks. I didn't want to see those red eyes again.

"Ethan, it's me I promise."

I could hear Sam coming down the hallway yelling. Carefully I opened my eyes and saw that it really was Dean. I wanted to tell him and I figured he already killed her so what have I got to lose? My life?

"He killed her. He killed her!" I sobbed, the image of her neck being snapped on repeat in my head. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. I buried my face in his neck while my rib cage felt like it shattered and ripped my heart to shreds.

"I don't know what to do, Jody." Dean pleaded in a hushed voice as Ethan was sleeping over on the couch too freaked out to sleep in his own room. He was thankful the kid fell asleep at all.

"Just be there for him Dean. He needs you right now."

Dean gave a heavy sigh before thanking her and hanging up the phone.

"Dean, hey—!"

"Dude!" Dean cut off his brother in a whisper yell while gesturing to the sleeping kid less than ten feet away.

"Sorry. I uh have a lead on Lucifer," Sam replied in a hushed tone.

"No shit, really?"

"Yeah, Crowley has a plan. He wants to summon Lucifer, exercise him, and lock him back in the cage."

"That easy?" Dean quirked a brow not believing it for a second.

"Do you have a better idea, because I'm all ears," Sam huffed sparing a quick glance over to his nephew on the couch. "Look, Dean, this could be our only chance to get Judy back."

"You think she alive?"

Sam gave his brother quizzical look, "Really, Dean? You know how Lucifer plays." He truly believed Judy was still alive and if she wasn't he'd figure out a way to bring her back. His hazel eyes flicking over to sleeping teen.

"The last thing he needs right now is to get his hopes up," Dean muttered and quickly stood from the table with the excuse that he needed a shower.

Lucifer sat on his throne deep in thought, hardly paying attention to the two demon's blabbering on about product and soul intake. "Maybe I was too hard on him," he sighed and tapped his chin.

"S-Sir?" one of the demon's stammered, unsure what his king was referring to.

"The kid, maybe I took it too far." The new King of Hell crossed his legs thinking back on the moment with a grin, "But his face! Oh, you should've seen the way he cried out for you," he inclined his head to the young girl chained next to his chair. Only receiving a heated glare.

"Th-The Winchester boy, Sir?"

Lucifer's gaze snapped back to the two demons' in front of him nearly forgetting they were there. Beside him, Judy managed to work the gage out of her mouth.

"You're a terrible person!" she yelled at him with a steely glare. Lucifer met her gaze, his eyes flashing red. Judy couldn't help but flinch but still managed to hold her ground.

"Well, that's kinda my thing, Sweetheart," lucifer replied with a devilish smirk.

"Well I think you just need a hug."

Lucifer visibly recoiled at that. He turned to the demons still gawking in their feeble stances. "What are you still doing here?"

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb quickly made their exit form the throne room not wanting to face the king's wrath.

"So when are you going to let me go?"

Lucifer thought for a moment before turning to the younger. She seemed unshaken by this threats despite knowing full well who he was. "You says I am?" he asked, curious of her answer.

"Well, either you let me go, or Sam and Dean come find me," she answered promptly.

The older man groaned at the mention of the two brothers. They were a never-ending thorn in his side and he admitted that taking the girl would draw them nearer.

"You think they actually care about you?"

"Of course they do."

"Why would they, darling, its not like your either of their kid. Not like your brother."

Judy frowned, a twinge of doubt forming in her chest, "M-My brother will come for me."

Lucifer tilled his head in mock sympathy, "He thinks you're dead." He watched happily as her blue eyes teared up but never lost their vigor. He decided to squash it completely, "They all think you're dead. Nobody's coming for you."

Her face fell struggling to hold on to hope as the weight of what Lucifer said settled in. She couldn't help but wonder if they really thought her dead. With all her might, she prayed that they didn't.

Wistfully she tugged at her chains, "I really don't like you."

"You're sure this will work?" Dean asked as he finished off the holy oil circle around the devil's trap.

"Why, must you always doubt me?" Crowley breathed, irritated with the Winchester's inability to trust him. He wanted Lucifer gone as much or more than anybody.

"You want that list alphabetically or. . .?" Sam retorted, only looking up from the spell to gage the former King of Hell's reaction.

"Focus on your pronunciation, Moose." Crowley smoothed out his suit and straitened his tie before turning back to the elder brother, "Shall we get this show on the road?"

Sam began the summoning spell and when Lucifer appeared, looking less that pleased, Dean lit the holy fire effectively trapping the Devil.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" He inquired giving off an air of boredom.

Dean cut the palm of his hand and held it near the insignia drawn on the table, "Where's the girl?"

"Aw, Dean, you gotta be more specific than that," Lucifer smirked.

"Judy, where is she you son of a bitch!" Dean yelled inching his hand closer to the insignia.

"Oh, her? She's safe."

"Bring her back or so help me—"

"How is he? You're kid?" Lucifer grinned.

"Dean." Sam urged as he noticed the holy fire beginning to die.

Clenching his jaw, Dean let his blood fall on the insignia that caused Lucifer to temporarily lose control of his vessel allowing Cas to come through.

But it failed. They didn't get Judy and Cas believed Lucifer was their only hope in defeating Amara. With heads hung low they returned to the bunker.

Crowley sauntered into hell confidently. Now that Lucifer was busy with Amara, the throne was left open to it's rightful owner. He sat on the wooden chair, easing into the old groves with a sight. He grinned looking over the room till his eyes fell on a small form chained to the wall that remined him of his mission.

He walked over the form huddled in the shadows his foot falls the only sown in the room. For a second he thought she was dead.

"Are you Judy?" the girl turned her bright blue eyes to him with an immediate spark of hope flaring in them. He looked at her curiously as she eagerly bobbed her head in a nod. Her hands were bond as well as her feet and a gag stuffed snuggly into her mouth. "Poor thing," he muttered before snapping his fingers and releasing the chains as well as the gag.

Judy stood on shaky legs and offered a thankful smile to Crowley which he stubbornly ignored.

"Come along, Mouse. Your brother's damn near killed himself with worry over you," he sighed, starting to the door but stopped when he felt small fingers slip into his own hand. "No, no, none of that." Crowley hastily pulled his hand away, but made the mistake of looking back at the girl.

"Ethan always holds my hand when I'm scared." Crowley watched as she wrung her finger and glanced around the room. Her wrists were red and irritated from the cuffs and the same went for her cheeks. But it was the tears that welled up in her big blue eyes that finally broke him.

"Fine," the King of Hell huffed, holding out his hand from the young girl to take. She did and Crowley snapped his fingers bringing them to the bunker, the outside anyway since the damn place was so heavily warded.

Dean was waiting outside for their return sipping on a beer. When he saw Judy the tension in his shoulders gave way and he felt like he could finally breathe. Ethan was still inside completely unaware that his sister was ok. They decided against telling him just incase the worse had happened.

He scooped Judy up in a tight hug and buried his face in her dark ringlets.

"Lucifer needs a hug." He heard her mutter solemnly and could only smirk at the notion. Dean sighed wishing it were as easy as that. How different the world would be if a simple hug could fix things.

"Your brother's inside." He set her down and opened the door. Judy raced down the stairs calling out for her brother.

He answered breathlessly meeting her at the bottom of the stair case and refusing to let go once he had her in his arms.

Dean, Sam, and Crowley watched from a distance.

Sam smiled at the pair, glad things were ok for now.

Crowley vanished in favor of returning to Hell and his throne to reestablish order.

And Dean turned to get a beer the scene before him hitting to close to home. How many times had he lots Sammy? Or the other way around? He didn't want that for them. He didn't want that for anyone.

He pulled out his cell phone. He waited as the dial tone sounded half wanting her to answer and the other half not. But she did and his breath caught. Dean looked back over his shoulder at Ethan running his fingers through Judy's hair.

"Hey Jody, how are you?"

"I'm good, Dean. How's Ethan?"

"Well, good news is we got Judy back. Back news is we lost Amara. Again."

"Thank goodness you got Judy back, though."

"Yeah no kidding." Dean rubbed the back of his neck knowing he wouldn't be able to stall forever.

"This is a lot to ask, but could you take Judy and Ethan in?" he bit his lip. He wanted them safe and Jody's would be the best place. But she'd already taken in two. "I understand if you ca—"

"Of course, I will Dean. It's really becoming a home for wayward kids here. But, seriously, you need me my house is open."

Dean let out a sigh of relief, "Thanks Jody, I really owe you one."

"Oh, no problem. I've been wanting to meet them anyway."

A small smile found it's way on to his face, "Thanks, Jody. I'll talk to you later."

I was sitting in the kitchen area alone thinking about the past few days. I drew little circles with my finger on the table wondering why I was going through this. My mind went back to that night. The one where my life changed completely. I guess that's when it all started going down hill for Judy and I. I sighed unable to come up with answer, but I never could. I guess if it hadn't happened I wouldn't have met Dean—my dad. I was still trying to wrap my head around that.

Just as I went to go back to my room, Dean walked in. "Hey, I needed to talk to you about something."

"Ok," I said, sitting back in my chair.

He sat down across from me and I noticed the wrinkles in his face were more pronounced and his eyes tired. I suppose it had been a rough week or life, which ever.

"I've got a good friend north of here who's taken in a couple of kids for Sam and I," he paused meeting my eyes for a second and my heart dropped. "She's willing to take you both in. You'd be safe there."

He looked like he was about to say more, but I cut him off, "Do I get a say in this?"

Dean opened his mouth to reply but promptly shut it obviously thinking it over, "You really want to stay in this life?" I flinched at the edge in his voice, "I don't want that for you."

"What would happen?" I hopped he wouldn't see the way I looked away with glassy eyes.

"You'd both start school. Judy needs to be in school especially." He laced his fingers on the table in front of him. "You'll get back to a normal life. Well, normal-ish anyway."

I stood quickly, "I'll think about it," I said and turned away not bale to look at him any longer.

When I got to my bedroom, I shut the door and sat down on my bed. A part of me knew he was right but it still hurt how indifferent he sounded about the whole deal. I get that I wasn't planned and he didn't really want me, but I thought he at least wanted me around. I don't know. I ran away, I didn't call, I didn't seem to care. The list could go on. But I did care, I think, it's just been so long.

Judy was taken because of me. Whose to say that she won't get taken again even with his friend of Dean's. I realized with an aching heart that she was better off without me. After all I might've destroyed her future by keeping her out of school not to mention all the horrible, cold nights we suffered through or hungry weeks.

I bit my lip realizing what a horrible brother I really was. I couldn't hold Judy back from his chance to be normal again.

But there was still the problem with Dean. If he really didn't want me around it wouldn't matter I suppose. Even if I wanted to stay and he didn't want me. Another pain shot through my chest at the thought.

I guess everyone wants to be wanted even in the shittyish way possible.

Sam and Dean were able to track down Amara with the help of Crowley and his mother. I wanted to come, but they both said no immediately and I was trying to be on my best behavior with Dean.

Judy and I sat anxiously waiting for them to return if they would return at all. My heart pounded in my chest as time dragged on. It didn't help that the when we turned the TV on it showed people freaking out about the sun basically dying, which was unnerving itself, but toppled with the conversation I'd overheard about a bomb involving Dean. It was almost too much to handle.

It was getting late by the time door opened. I was in the kitchen, so I ran to see who it was, but stopped dead in my tracks when I just saw Sam and Cas and no Dean. I felt like every once of hope I still clung to dissipated to a distant memory.

I watched them come into the foyer silent and defeated before Sam looked at me, but what ever he was going to say was cut off by a bright light flooding the room and the sound of a British woman's voice telling Same not to move. I could only see her heals from where I stood and later I realized for where she stood she couldn't see me either.

Sam sent be a fleeting look that basically said "run" and that's what I did. I'd spent a lot of time exploring the bunker and knew there was a dungeon area hidden behind the kitchen. I grabbed Judy's hand as she was still sitting at the table asleep and pulled her with me.

I could hear the mumble of voice and slapped a hand around Judy's mouth as she asked what was going on. The door opened and I dragged her in with me. Just as it shut and I locked it a bang rang out then all was quiet for a little while.

I heard more voices later though. We stayed hidden till it was well past three in the morning.

"Ethan! Judy!" Deans frantic voice woke me. I untangled myself from Judy and cautiously opened the door and walked out.

"Dean?" I called softly, confused and carefully rounding each corner wishing I had a suitable weapon.

Finally, I saw him coming out of one of the many halls. "Oh, thank God," he breathed, "Where's your sister."

"In the Dungeon," I answered, jutting my thumb behind me. That's when I noticed the older woman standing awkwardly at the base of the stairs.

"Dean?" she asked, giving a pointed look to me.

"Right," he started, rubbing his neck, "uh, Ethan, this is my. . .mom. Mom this is Ethan my. . .my kid."

I stood there dumbfounded for several seconds because I knew that Sam and Dean's mom was killed a long time ago. "Wait, what?"

"I have a grandson?" Mary asked looking at Dean with just as much confusion.

"Look, Amara, brought her back. This is just as freaky for me."

That's when it set in that he was alive and the reason we were hiding in the secret room came back to me. "I think Sam was taken. I don't know by who and Cas disappeared after a bright light."

Dean's face fell and Mary snapped her head back and forth between us, worry evident on her features.

While Dean was busy looking at security footage from the surrounding area and talking with Cas, I sat in the kitchen with Mary and Judy.

She seemed kind and I could tell Judy had already taken a liking to her. Not that I could blame her. I knew she wanted a mother figure. "So," she started, pushing a blonde lock of hair behind her ear, "you're Dean's son?"

"Yeah, he and my mom just hooked up and Dean left long before I was born so he didn't know about me. We met when we ran into each other on a hunt—"

"You're a hunter?" her green eyes widened with too much emotion to comprehend.

"Yes, our mom was killed by a vampire several years ago. Anything but vampires is completely new to me and a little mind boggling."

"I'm so sorry," she muttered looking at her hands perhaps thinking about her own death. Then she smiled, "You know, the last time I saw Dean he was four so to think he has a kid and that I'm a grandma is a little mind boggling."

I gnawed on the word grandma trying to fit into my head and the fact that this woman was family.

"You look just like him," she said with a fond smile and I couldn't help but return it.

"I get that a lot."

"People say I look like my mom," Judy grinned and I rubbed her curly head.

"Really?" Mary egged on.

"Yeah, my mom was really pretty and nice."

I couldn't help but smile at the fact she was acting like a child for once much to my relief. I still had to talk to Dean but now wasn't the time for that. Mary continued to talk with Judy looking in her element with Judy's younger nature.

I was hopeful that think might be ok for a little bit, but Sam was missing and that gun shot still echoed in my memory. I worried my lip at the thought. What if he was dead an all I did was hide. Could I have stopped whatever happened?

 **Hey, thank's for reading! Sorry its been so long, but I've started college and life of course gets hectic. Anyway, be paticent with me. This story isn't stopping as I have much planned for it it just might table a little while is all.**

 **I love each and every one of my readers. Please feel free to drop me a review to tell me what you liked and constructional** **criticism.**

 **Thanks, Bye!**


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